If only she had a cat
My first attempt so apologies if not entertained

The joining in with bullying of others in order to draw attention away from ones own shortcomings and uncoolness seems to be the most common theme here so i shall steer clear of it, mainly as i cant think of any particularly funny incidents, all just embarrassing to look back on.

So fast forward to 2006, meet M - a North American girl who was a friend of a vague acquaintance i bumped into whilst haunting the nightclub i worked at. In the words of Lord Flashheart 'Woof'. Later on I discover her previous occupation - stripper. I have a pretty low opinion of myself when it comes to the wooing of the opposite sex, so was more than a little surprised when on next crossing paths she offered to exchange numbers. Surely a joke methinks, or maybe she wants to milk me for free guest-list at my work, like so many others (bastards, have now stopped falling for this as its just mean to get my hopes up!). Cutting to the chase, turns out she liked me, and ended up back at hers with friends one night. And here the fitting in started. I had only one thing in mind, 'fitting in' the lady in question, but there were several things i did in order to achieve this i don't think it was worth it in the end. Starting with her twattish mates, the loud coke snorting indie types (i am an indie type, must admit, but these were utter cocks), forcing myself to agree with the bollocks spouting from their unshaven, unthinking and uninteresting faces. The kind of people who talk for 3 hours about the greatness of this or that band and how much better they are than everyone... *nods off*
This as well as having to join in the aforementioned snorting of class A drugs, i'm still rather embarrassed i crumbled to easily, but i was on a mission. She was a thick as shit spoilt brat by the way, with a fierce coke habit and who's first car was a Lexus, and who's family owned three houses in North America. Twunts one might say. So suffice to say any kind of meaningful conversation, understanding or general empathy was way out. So normal me conversations were out, and had to comply to the rules stated above. the worst part, and i'm coming to a close, was the bloody dog. I hate dogs. I was savagely bitten by one as a child leaving me with much scarring, yet here it was, the devils spawn. A chihuaua. A yapping little skinny frame of brown carpet bounding about where it really wasn't wanted. Must add i'm very allergic to dogs and so here was my worst fitting in, i went home after each visit tears streaming, skin burning, and wheezing worse than Bobby George, i wouldn't normalise for 2 days at which point id go back round. Anyway got bored of that after a few months. Cats i can tolerate, if only she had a cat.

Apologies for length
(sebmcr, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 16:31, 2 replies)

Errm
Did you shag her??!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 16:47, closed)

Yes
Did'nt want to sound like i was showing off though (pornstar blowjob ftw!)
(sebmcr, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 17:36, closed)