I gave up sex for gansta rappers!
I work in media and sometimes get to 'work' with a wide variety of VIP's, footballers, celebutards and the Krankies.

It is quite varied and includes everything from writing press releases for nobodies who want to become somebodies that are 100% fake. To having to pick up half naked clients out of the gutter at 3:30 am. To being a 'facilitator' who does everything from pick up coffee and dry cleaning to coke and worse.

On one occasion we were having a bunch of people over from Puff Daddy's label in New York, among them was 50 Cent at the time his rising star prodigy. I didn't have much to do on this one, only arrange for appropriate transport, hotels and entertainment for approx. 20 of them... Now they flew in on Thursday evening and were going back out on Saturday, so as requested I had arranged for them to be on the guest list at a very hot night club with a prepaid bar bill of £15K. I didn't have to do anything else for the duration but not one to miss out on a Friday night for free I put myself +1 down on the list so I could impress a hot little minx with my power (and free drinks).

The Friday came round and I picked up my lady friend and took her for some pre-drink drinks. She was looking hot and being really flirty with me. It was looking like filthy sex was a sure thing.

We caught a taxi to the club but as we stepped out and past the huge line of people waiting to get in there was some sort of fracas going on at the door. I sobered up instantly as I sized up the situation. A REALLY wasted 50 Cent had somehow exited the club and was trying to get back in. He was ranting at the bouncers who weren't having any of it (I wouldn't believe some twat trying to blag their way in either). I could tell that they were about 3 seconds from applying knuckles to his $10 million face. My client was in severe jeopardy.

So what could I do but interject and tell the bouncers that I was on the list and this person was my +1. I watched as my date's face shattered and broke like a cunted mirror.

"Shit!" I thought, "The things I do to get Fiddy in!"



Sorry.
(brycemonkey No fatal accidents since:, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 23:53, 3 replies)

I
Dunna click. More out of pity, really.
( Ghoti Fingers, Sat 17 Jan 2009, 1:23, closed)

Shit-awful!
No click for you ;-) Far too tenuous and no interesting build-up.
(keyboardman, Sun 18 Jan 2009, 23:24, closed)

Well...
it's my first effort on a long winded pun, I'll try to do better.
(brycemonkey No fatal accidents since:, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 13:53, closed)