Oh jesus the accent
I completely forgot about this but it was the most pressing thing on my mind for about the 5 years I was at high school.

If anyone wants to look for the most racist, narrow minded and hate-filled demographic in the country then look no further than your local primary/high school kids. It's growing up and society that eventually forces the idea that "Intolerance is bad m'kay?"

But when kids are young, they're tribal and pick up on the cues from their parents. What adults treat as friendly rivalry is mistakenly interpreted as something much more serious and often violent.

I had a really fucked up upbringing when it came to nationality. I have a Scottish surname and a Scottish father (who is guilty of some of the worst enforcement of that "friendly rivalry" I mentioned above). I was born in England and have an English mother. Owing to my father being in the army my family moved around all over the UK (England and Scotland) as well as Europe - I obtained what's known as the Forces Accent i.e. I sound like I'm from the south of England.

So when my father left the army the family settled back home to Scotland. I read volumes of Oor Wullie and The Broons to understand the local lingo (seriously, a lot of the turns of phrase and words used are quite educational). I think at the time I would have found it difficult going to any school because I skipped a year so was shorter than most of my classmates, very bright and didn't realise this wasn't something to shout about. What I'm trying to say is that I would probably have been every hard kid's punching bag regardless of any nationality confusion.

But as it was I was labelled as English. My friends I hung about with at lunchtime actually gave me the nickname English (these were the guys who treated me the best as well). My life was hell - a daily dose of casual violence and racism from everyone in my class. England beat Scotland in the Five Nations (as it used to be), that'll be me getting fucked over during rugby this week then.

Thankfully the family moved again 6 months later to another part of Scotland. By this time however I had mastered a Scottish accent beyond just speaking like Oor Wullie in an English accent. I still got a bit of hassle at the new school for reasons I mentioned above (short, intelligent) but not being so flagrantly English meant that I faced nowhere near as much grief.

My parents hated me speaking in a Scottish accent though and would stop me from doing so in front of them. I had to work constantly for years to keep my worlds from colliding, always making sure my friends didn't see any of my family. I had to mumble through conversations when they did.

I left school as soon as I could at 16 to go to uni (also in Scotland). Immediately I found myself around a group of people where there was nothing shameful in sounding English. It was such a novelty and relief to be able to be myself for the first time since I was 11.

For years I tried not to think about my nationality or actually analyze who I was. If pushed I said I was British. My dad for years drilled into my sister and I that Scotland was the greatest country in the world so I irrationally wanted to be Scottish but my hatred of all the Scottish kids I met at school held me back.

What finally settled it for me was a random trip south of the border for my gran's funeral. I hadn't been to England for several years but once there meeting all the English side of the family I realised that emotion didn't enter into it. The country felt different, slightly alien. Not in a bad way but I knew for the first time in my life I was definitely Scottish*. Scotland was and still is my home. I sound as English today as I ever have despite having spent most of my life in Scotland. As much as I love my country I hate the small mindedness of it, I hate the ingrained racism that's everywhere because of the chip on the shoulder that most of us have against the English.

Even today when I'm back home - I live in the east of England so don't get back north of the border very often - I sometimes put on my fake yet perfectly convincing Scottish accent when buying a paper or getting on a bus. It still sometimes annoys me that strangers won't immediately realise I'm Scottish unless I sound like I am. But as much as I hate the racism I encountered as a boy I know it's not representative of everyone so I find myself doing it less these days.

But if you happen to be in a pub in Cambridge when a game featuring the Scottish fitba' team is being shown and there's a drunkard at the bar slurring "O Flower of Scotland" and "Get it up yez, ye English bastards!"... do come and say hello to me, I'll probably buy you a pint and tell you how it won't taste as good as a pint of Tennents**.

* - Anyone who laughs at Jonathan Watson's "Heh heh heh" impression of Chick Young or loves Jack, Victor and Navid from Still Game gets Scottish culture enough to be Scottish in my book.
** - We know it's pish yet we still drink it
( djtrialprice, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 16:12, 9 replies)

oh god
this sounds so familiar! Born of english parents, in glasgow, and spending my whole life (until 22) there, I have mastered the art of being a scot, but totally agree about the small mindedness of the place. Still, being in yank land now, just saying i'm from scotland gets me friends and drinks, so that's cool :-)
( ascorbate, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 16:18, closed)

If not for the fact you are of the male persuasion
I would think this post was written by me! I too have a 'forces accent', Scottish father and english mother. I would identify as Scottish, though the only time these days that the accent comes out is if I'm pished or angry... And my mother bought me the Oor Wullie annual for Christmas! Happy days. I shall keep an eye out in the Cambridge pubs!
( bentalls In my head, I am a ninja, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 17:17, closed)

I'm Scottish born and bred
and you've hit the nail on the head completely. It drives me up the wall when small minded idiots confuse national pride with xenophobia and downright racism. Have a hearty click :D
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 17:26, closed)

^^
Well said that man there!

Racism is still racism ... even if both sides have the same colour. Bit like the Jamaican/African conflicts you get in West London.

As much as I love my homeland of Scotland, I really wish we could just let go of the ancient grievances.

Oh and ... Never trust a Campbell! Especially when they are trying to take you to war with a very thin manilla folder containing a 10 year old receipt.
(Que?, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 6:57, closed)

John Barrowman
Has this odd thing where he speaks with a Scots accent when he's with his family but American when he's anywhere else.

He moved from Scotland to the states as a boy and had to adopt an American accent to fit in at school. However he kept the Scots one for home use.
Very odd when you hear him talking with his family.

It's a bit like a lot of young Asians I know. Almost no accent at work or what ever, but really thick accent when with their folks.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 19 Jan 2009, 18:19, closed)

Yup
That used to be me. Having friends around was an awkward experience, particularly when it came to balancing between speaking heavily Indian-accented English to the parents (which would make my friends think I'm weird) or speaking English with my Kiwi accent (which would confuse my parents) or speaking Gujarate (to avoid exposing the accent I used when talking to the parents, however that's considered rude when we have people round). Makes me feel like a daft tit when I think about it...
(thecurriedavenger, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 22:44, closed)

Very familiar!
I was born in England, to English parents, but we moved north when I was just a baby.

I learned soon enough that a Scottish accent was a vital defence, but still managed to speak with a Yorkshire accent around the house. Very confusing when friends came round!

As I got older I started to drop the English accent even around my family, but I still consider myself English although I do love living in Scotland, for all it's faults.

One thing that I have noticed time and time again though - particularly when meeting other Brits on holiday etc, is that there isn't really an English/Scottish divide - it's more of a north/south divide. We've got friendly with families from the north of England and had far more in common with them than families from down south. Similar sense of humour I think, but perhaps I'm talking out of my arse here....
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 20 Jan 2009, 9:20, closed)

*Puts hand up*
Me too.

Scots parents but I was born and brought up in the South of England. My mum and dad still have the Sunday Post every week and we all make regular trips up to see all the family - including granny who is in her 90s and still trotting to the bingo every day.
I've Scots friends who didn't realise my heritage at first and were confused when I understood Scots words or used them in conversation....peelywally comes to mind.

That said, I can't speak in a Scots accent - well, certainly not in front of my family, they'd laugh at me! So in that respect I don't and never will fit in with the rest of my extended folks.

But bagpipes make me cry.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 22:47, closed)

Charles
My mate went with his good wife to live in a little Scottish village with the one pub in it. He was a bit apprehensive of going in due to the reasons above. Sure enough when he did pluck up the courage to go in he was asked
"Whats an English twat doing coming in here?"
My mate drank his scotch and replied with some indignation "i'm not an Englishman I'm a Yorkshireman"
He's been accepted there ever since
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 16:29, closed)