Fuck that.
You needed three things:

1) A hose-pipe
2) Black tape
3) A 1-foot length of lead pipe

Step 1: Break both of her knees with the pipe.
Step 2: Drag her out to the carpark. (Get your children to help, hell, it's a great bonding exercise)
Step 3: Fix the hosepipe to your car exhaust, taping it firmly to avoid any of the "horrible, nasty pollution-fumes" from escaping.
Step 4: Break both of her arms with the lead pipe.
Step 5: Shove the other end of the hose down her throat and rev the car, hard.
( Cawl, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 14:07, 2 replies)

Actually
you can leave the lead pipe wedged between the accellerator and the seat, depending on the size of the seat. And remember to leave a typed suicide note explaining that she did it to stop her having second thoughts and having to go back to that godawful group of hippies. Signed- badly- in her own blood.

Printed on recycled paper, naturally.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 13:58, closed)

*click* for this ^^^

Especially 'cos they sound like "Modern Parents" from Viz magazine
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Wed 21 Jan 2009, 14:02, closed)