I was 18. I was looking good.
I had an actual Russian army greatcoat on (my sister had bought it for me for 80 Marlboro in St Petersburg about three months before communism fell over), my hair looked good - I was sharp as a tack as I turned up to the 'bus station.

Two girls over there checked me out.

I checked them out.

I was looking back to see if you were looking back at me to see me looking back at you

I pulled out my soft-top packet of Marlboros, and flicked the bottom.

The two remaining cigarettes flew out, and in perfect arches fell to the ground.

Unfazed, I picked them up, and screwed one in. I took out my Zippo, and squeezed the lid.

The lid flew up, and off, and in a perfect arch fell to the ground at the girls' feet.

I gave up.

Flirting's never been my sort of thing anyway.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 13:10, 5 replies)

ah well
the big wheel keeps on turning
(Corbo, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 13:27, closed)

It does indeed.
I went from smooth to zero in three seconds.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 13:30, closed)

I did something simlar
from a hand down at my waist I flicked a cigarette nonchalantly, it somersaulted twice on it’s journey to my ever so slightly parted lips, where it found it’s home without me needing to twitch a muscle. I pulled a match from my pocket. In a fluid movement I struck it against the wall I was leaning against and lit the filter end of my fag...BUGGER!
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 13:51, closed)

But in Soviet Russia
cigarette lights YOU!!!
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sat 20 Feb 2010, 22:52, closed)

getting a visa card
nowadays isn't hard
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Sun 21 Feb 2010, 15:22, closed)

A click
for the Dr Feelgood lyric.
(Dr Teeth Who asked you, you fuckin' hobbit?, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 15:45, closed)