Check out girls - Yay!
1. Checkout Girl was a cartoon that ran in the Daily Star in the 80s. And she was always an up-for-it kind of gal.
2. Hovis Presley told a poem about how he fell in love with a checkout girl because she smiled at him when she gave his receipt. And that's me that is.

I usually go to Waitrose, because they have the better looking ones. Sometimes I go to Tesco's in the Zombie Hours, because I beleive the checkout girls are grateful to speak to someone not in pyjamas and dragging their knuckles on the floor and can string words together.

I try and get in the queue for the prettiest till jockey, regardless of length. I don't really flirt, but I do like to start a pleasant conversation. Generally I have normal things in my basket (fruit, veg, pasta, sauce, bottle of wine, fish) and not anything that would expose unnatural behaviour (Lazy Town DVD, Nivea, 2 x Giant Box of Kleenex), so I expect I'm viewed as a pleasant gentleman who comes in the shop to buy his groceries. My conversation is varied, not weather or pricecheck related.

Behind the scenes and in my head though, I'm probably thinking what I would look like pulling down their wooly tights, and ripping open their green sweaters to reveal those pert 19 year old tits, etc.. etc.. etc..

But, alas, I take my groceries, receive a smile as I get my receipt, get my car park ticket stamped for the 50p off.

I then pop my voting disc in the least appropriate venture on offer.

Length: If longer than 3 they open another till.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:37, 10 replies)

"Lazy Town DVD, Nivea, 2 x Giant Box of Kleenex"
That deserves a click.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:40, closed)

Nivea!
Posh git.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:52, closed)

Well, these checkout dollies might think he's got a bit of money
if he's prepared to splash out a bit. Fnar fnar.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:53, closed)

To date...
...the cutest 'till jockey' (till dolly, surely?) I've ever seen was working the zombie shift at the giant Tesco's in Purley.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:45, closed)

I always refer to them
as Till Tarts or Checkout Chicks
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:54, closed)

Jewish Pianists
only works when they use real tills and not swipers.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:12, closed)

"Voting disc"?
Your strange moon-man language means nothing to me.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:09, closed)

Something that Waitrose do
Each month they give an amount of cash to 3 community charities/projects. When you spend more than about £15 they give you a "voting disc" to allow you to vote for a project.
The money then gets split according to votes
( notmyrealname, Sat 20 Feb 2010, 11:23, closed)

Hovis Presley
One of the best. My friend's got a dog called Nigel...
( Norbert Lightowler, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:30, closed)

That's my sole till choice criteria
Checkout girl hotness. Over the years I'm come to realise that no matter how obvious the quickest queue may be, whichever one I pick I will ALWAYS be wrong about. It actually makes life a lot less stressful as I've given up even trying to get it right anymore. I'm resigned to a long wait, so I might as well have the best view.
( kappynitty doubled your entendre on, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 14:13, closed)