after a night on the sauce...
in-between waking and your sight returning, a glimmer of an electrical impulse fires in your brain and you think, "Oh, why did I say THAT?"

But there are things you will NEVER say or do when imbibed, so utterly horrifying to your sense of self that your brain locks it down. I've narrowed it down to two - karaoke and flirting. I've tried both at least once, sometimes more, with butt-clenchingly embarrassing results.

1) Attempting to sing "Lady In Red" in a pub in Sunderland and getting told, two bars in, to shut the fuck up, you fucking queer. (Fair play.)
2) At a party telling a rather attractive lady she was a rather attractive lady. The response, "No, I'm not," took the mild breeze out of my sails. I mumbled my apologies and exited stage left as fast as my little legs would carry me.
3) Beer dulling my sense of impending failure, approaching a rather attractive lady sitting on the table opposite. I stumbled up to her and she, sensing what I was about to subject her to, stood up and let it be known to the bar that she was twice my height.
( nightbuffalo needs more duct tape, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 1:15, 4 replies)

I clicked
Purely for that first line.
( MatJ LOOK, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 1:17, closed)

thanks!
it went downhill fast after that. :)
( nightbuffalo needs more duct tape, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 1:24, closed)

What everyone wants to know is...
Did you tell the tall girl "ooh, you're tall, aren't you"
(iamjthearmeroar, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 3:19, closed)

my exact words were...
"Fuck me, you're tall." She smiled, nodded, and we never saw each other again.
( nightbuffalo needs more duct tape, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:16, closed)