Online flirting...
... to my shame I've given the whole online dating thing a go, if nothing else to brush up on flirting skills for my "in the field" attempts.

I have now learnt important lessons about the women you meet through online dating:

- Single
- Attractive
- Mentally stable

Pick 2 out of 3.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:21, 14 replies)

Ha!
all 3 never happens (at least for me it doesnt)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:24, closed)

I assumed
That 'Single' was a given. Was I just being naive?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:25, closed)

Welcome to the jungle

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:28, closed)

I have a date tonight with someone from a dating site...
...so I'll keep you posted on that.

The maxim I usually use is 'Single. Hot. Sane. Pick 2.'
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 19 Feb 2010, 10:03, closed)

Surely
If they are attractive AND mentally stable but not single, they wouldn't be indulging in online dating? That leaves your only options as:

Single and attractive
Single and mentally stable

Which to be fair, appears to apply to an awful lot of life.
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 10:42, closed)

You beat me to it

(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:39, closed)

What if they're looking for a threesome?

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sat 20 Feb 2010, 23:54, closed)

I gave it a go too
I sifted through hundreds of profiles to try and find out the few intelligent, non-vacuous, attractive, interesting girls that had ventured on (three), then sent out a few excruciatingly-carefully written short messages hoping to elicit a response. None came. Instead, I was the recipient of a decent handful of messages, in text speak with plenty of LOLs and Xs, from interesting-looking[1] "ladies" whose profiles boasted of their love of going out and getting pissed with their mates.

Is that about par for the course?

[1] I wanted to write "tear-inducingly pig-ugly", but you'd think I was a bad person.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:39, closed)

Par for the course
Sounds familiar!

If it wasn't such a god awful prospect it'd be enough to turn me gay. Except I think I'd put with a munter first. Sorry if that sounds homophobic but I'm really struggling to find anyone of the opposite sex to tick all 3 criteria and giving up is starting to look a more sensible decision!

A particular favourite was a "woman" who messaged me and I took a look at her profile while at work as the guy who sits next to me has been trying too. She looked like Lionel Blair... on a racing bike. I kid you not. My mate glanced over and said "Who's he?". I try not to laugh at the profiles of other desperate lonely souls out there but one thing about that ladies profile just brought on the fits of giggles.... "Never been married.".
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 14:12, closed)

My date for this evening
is unmarried with no kids. She's a teacher, quite arty and sounds quite intelligent.

Unlike 'Mags' who also messaged me. She's 43, divorced, mother of 4, and lists her religion as 'spiritual' and her body type as 'curvy'. She has 3 cats. Good luck with that, love.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 19 Feb 2010, 15:33, closed)

My date tomorrow night
Well point 3 is a definate no. I'm going to cling to point 1 (single) on the grounds she's nearly finalised her divorce and point 2.... well you can't have everything can you?

So in conclusion tomorrow night I have a date with a married, ugly, nut job. Shit.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 17:18, closed)

Best I've read this week
Nice work.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:05, closed)

It's a numbers game!
I did internet dating last year and after carefully picking one at a time and sending a carefully worded messages and getting nowhere I applied the scatter gun approach and managed to get a lot of dates and as Meatloaf said two out of three ain't bad. After being stalked I changed sites and tried again and nothing much happened and I got bored. So I rewrote my profile and took the piss (Ideal first date: Battling round Cape Horn in a force 10 gale, finding the source of the amazon etc.) and I have been with Herself for 6 months now and she is all three .
(johnners hitting things with hammers until they work, Sat 20 Feb 2010, 16:46, closed)

Meatloaf also said
"I would do anything for love... but I won't do THAT."
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sat 20 Feb 2010, 23:57, closed)