I flirt on the internet.
How YOU doin?
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:15, 40 replies)

Well
Hello there. *winks suggestively*

I have some sweeties for you.........
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:19, closed)

Well, ding dong!
*winks back with added eyebrow lift*
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:24, closed)

Would you like to see my cock?
*winks*
( Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:24, closed)

Ooh! "I've seen your website"
*runs and hides*
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:26, closed)

No, seriously.
Look at my cock.
( Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:26, closed)

Wow
Is it supposed to do that?
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:27, closed)

I think this perhaps is the best response to anything.
Anything at all.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:28, closed)

The oozing is part of its charm.

( Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:31, closed)

Honestly,
That's never happened to me before.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:33, closed)

Get used to it, baby.

( Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:36, closed)

That's exactly what the doctor said.
Before she called the police.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:41, closed)

I think we have the same doctor.

( Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:41, closed)

I love you.
We're going to be together forever - I just know it! Oh god I'm SO HAPPY! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY NOW THAT I'VE MET YOU! I LOVE YOU, DARLING! OH MY GOD - DON'T EVER LEAVE ME - I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO IF I DIDN'T HAVE YOU! I'M SO IN LOVE! SO, SO IN LOVE! HEY EVERYONE! WE'RE TOGETHER! I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS - WE LOVE EACH OTHER AND WE'LL BE TOGETHER FOREVER! EVER AND EVER AND EVER!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:28, closed)

You can hut the fuck up
and look at my cock, too.
( Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:29, closed)

hut the fuck up yourself
Tiddles.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:29, closed)

Bastard.
Look, stop acting like theres a choice in the matter, and get looking at my cock.
( Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:30, closed)

Can I borrow your glasses?
Mine are only bottle-strength.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:35, closed)

I have a special magnifying glass
I say special, I mean it was one of those little ones from a cracker.

Which is also where I got my tiny cock.


:(
( Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:38, closed)

I think I dreamt about you last night
It was you, wasn't it?
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:30, closed)

You say "dreamt"
you mean: "I came in through the window and stared at you all night, again" don't you?
( Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:32, closed)

I knew I'd seen you somewhere.
Beats that balaclava you usually don.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:35, closed)

I was trying a new outfit.
I'm flattered you noticed. ;)
( Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:39, closed)

What are you trying to imply?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:34, closed)

That you're a racist.

( Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:35, closed)

Yeah like that's a bad thing.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:35, closed)

Only if you're racist against me.

( Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:36, closed)

Have you been reading my letters.

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:35, closed)

The published ones,
or the 'others'?
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:36, closed)

I'm doing fine, thanks
Has the rohypnol kicked in yet? Just let me know when it does. And remember - it's not a sex crime if you get away with it.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:44, closed)

That'll be a double dose then.
I took one in readyness
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:48, closed)

Had a liquid lunch
Feeling quite frisky, actually. I can either hump the office sofa, disappear to the bogs for a quick hand shandy, find a small hungry toydog, a pot of sandwich spread and a seculded bush in the park. Or I could just try the old sharky shark shark approach on the office receptionist... no fuckin chance there, though. None at all...
( SpankyHanky, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:53, closed)

I would have thought after your 'afters' post
You'd be right off it at the moment!
Perhaps not.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:57, closed)

Thankfully I lived with Posh John
many many years ago and have time to recover from that incident. And it wasn't so much that that freaked me out... it was afterwards when she said: "I could go and pee it all out of me if that'd help." Freaked me out bigtime.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 14:01, closed)

Wow,
now THAT'S a chat up line and a half!
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 14:02, closed)

She was oozing
class, that girl.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 14:08, closed)

Oozing something anyway....

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 19 Feb 2010, 14:13, closed)

Don't 'spose...
...you've got her number? ;-)
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 14:18, closed)

Was it the fact she said it, or how wrong her knowledge of female plumbing was that freaked you out?
(ElectricSexPants would like to be the Sultan of something, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 14:26, closed)

The plumbing thing
And the way it was perfectly natural and reasonable to shag someone else while acting as a cum recepticle for my mates splodge... Classy birds round Hackney way. And no I dont have her number - don't even know what her name was. Fuck me, I'm glad I've settled down now. *shudders*
( SpankyHanky, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 14:28, closed)

Classy birds all over...
My mate brought a girl home last week, shagged her, sent her on her way next morning and went to work. His (new) flatmates called him half an hour later to ask why the fuck there were pubes in one of their razors and a massive poo stain on a flannel, which was now clogging the toilet. Evidently girlie hadn't expected a shag so hadn't wiped her arse or shaved her legs/crotch for a few weeks.

I laughed until wee came out.
(ElectricSexPants would like to be the Sultan of something, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 14:41, closed)