Yeah not saying I'm over it...but just that it does get easier...
and thanks :)
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:55, 1 reply)

You're better off without her anyway
The love of my life left me for the woman he was cheating on me with, 9 months ago now. It still hurts from time to time but yes, it will and does get easier :)
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:25, closed)

She was the only girl I ever fell in love with in 32 years
So has been a bit tougher than other break-ups but hey ho. Thing is she still keeps in touch and that's probably not a good idea!
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:11, closed)

Keeps in touch you say?
So either she is a totally unfeeling dolt, or hasn't realised the pain that would cause, or misses you.
Or intends to cause pain.
Which is more likely? - and how best to deal with it?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:59, closed)

She tells me she misses me etc
The issue is she loves me (I believe) but also loves the idea of being single and free (she is only 25 after all), so she wants to keep me around...but also do her own thing...

SIGH
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 15:21, closed)

So is she entirely self-centred or just indifferent to the pain that inflicts on you?
If either - looks like you fell in love with the wrong girl.
I suspect we all do at least once or thrice. But if she's wrong, move on.
You will find another person to complement you. That person will be sure of it too - not dithering about like this loser. (Harsh? - she lost you didn't she?)
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 15:50, closed)

Thanks Larry
I know it's all true - but sometimes that's the problem isn't it? You have to admit they were flawed...
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 16:16, closed)

If she wants to be single and free
more than she wants to be with you, then I guess she doesn't love you as much as she should if she were going to marry you. So I guess she's done the right thing. If you need space then just ask her for that - I've found with even the exes that are now friends, we needed that period of no contact to get to that point. Massive hugs, break-ups suck :( You wil find someone else though :)
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 17:17, closed)

yeah that's a good point.
Thanks for the hugs!
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 18:04, closed)

resentment...
Time helps, gives you time to find something to resent in her, focus on that, eases the break-up then you can move on and look back at the good times without getting upset.

I'm saying that, I'm in the same boat too. Said she loved me (and I'd found a job and was about to move up closer to her) then the next week said she never loved me and didn't want to be together even though she told her friends and family she did and just has trouble committing to someone, gets scared and destructs her relationships...

Sucks big time, not easy getting over it but you have to have a period of resentment to get over it otherwise (like me) you'll end up in a rut and not be able to deal with it.

Wish I could say something funny or more constructive but break-ups suck! Drink helps!!!
(Something funny, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 20:54, closed)

I keep trying to find something to resent
For exactly that reason - but all I can remember is her amazing green eyes, smile, laugh, intelligence and awesome body and sex....

GRRRrrrrr

I have been down the drink route...sadly that didn't do me any favours and drove a lot of friends and family away. I'm more sorted now though and just need to focus on work, my health, and the rest will fall into place I think. Try it too :)
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 22:03, closed)

Did she ever
get annoyed at you for not putting the toilet seat down?
Steal the duvet EVERY FUCKING NIGHT?
Get terrible PMS where one minute she'd shout at you for daring to breathe loudly and then cry because she shouted?
Steal your chips?
Leave cupboard doors open and lights on and then worry about the bills?
Say that she was going to watch sport with you and then sulk because you were watching sport?
Hear you go to the toilet in the middle of the night and then try and stab you because she thought you were a burglar? (Ex housemate did this to me, terrifying!)
Decide that you were stealing her cheese, lick her cheese and the post notes on the fridge saying "I lick my cheese"?
Dye her hair green and then cry when you said you didn't like it?
Follow you from room to room telling you the neighbours had been shopping and BOUGHT CRISPS?
Have to wee every hour, on the hour?
Constantly knock things over and drop things? (My bf gets pissed off at me for doing this!)

Keep thinking, there'll be something... Yay :S
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 22:22, closed)

She....
...snored - I thought it was cute.
- stole the covers...I liked to watch her sleep anyway
- Shit like an elephant every morning at 7am. I just laughed with her about it.
- Couldn't cook for her life. I liked making her dinner and seeing her enjoy eating it.

I'm just a SAP!
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 22:47, closed)

Aww honey
no you're not, you're just human. Keep doing what you're doing and it will get better.
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 9:46, closed)