Food First, Sabotage later
I am not one to gloat much but I will admit that I am pretty high up in the company I work for. I am not one of those guys who got whereI am by doing sod all I, gave my entire life to this company and also sacrificed a few personal things because of it (i.e. personal life, my friends and my family).

Anywhoo as I am pretty high up the pecking order here I usually dont spend time with the usual dogsbodies in the staff canteen, but one time I was at another office and had forgot to bring my lunch so I took a deep breath and took a stroll down to the place that hygenie forgot.

The first thing that hit me was the smell. I never realised how bad this place was, it stunk like it had been left unclean for a few years, which was strange as the canteen was in a new building. Despite this there was a glimmer of hope as I realised that they had my favourite pasta based dish available. Due to a bit of a misuderstanding on my behalf I ignored all instructions of canteen ettiquette and walked straight up to the bloke behind the counter and placed my order.

At first I thought the scummy little chef was asking for a fight but when I realised that he was just showing me that I needed to go get a tray I apologised.

Trouble was that when I went to get my tray some other git had jumped the queue and stolen my pasta dish. I was not amused and secretly got the name of the bloke who took it.

Being a higher up I was not allowed to outright beat the crap out of him and as spitting in his pasta was a pretty lowbrow thing to do, I got my revenge in a much more subtle way; I went into the staff records and changed the day of his shore leave to Alderaan to the day I tested the Death Star.

That'll teach him to nick my Penne arrabiata.

Regards


Darth Vader (not to be confused with Jeff Vader)
(mon bison powered by magnets, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:16, 9 replies)

Ace
I knew you could get a good star wars joke in here.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:17, closed)

And some Izzard
as well.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:24, closed)

Cheers Al
I actually deleted the post once thinking that it may be too early for a Star Wars joke
(mon bison powered by magnets, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:25, closed)

... and this one's
wet ...
(dxg, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:27, closed)

Did you dry these in a fucking rain forest?
LOVE the lego version...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:28, closed)

Loved it
I had that and the Cake or Death? skit stored on my old PC.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 17:18, closed)

And
The James Bond jam trousers sketch is sublime as well.

"Q, I've finshed the mission and theresh a load of shtuff I didn't fucking ushe... a watch that turnsh into a hamshter, whatsh the fucking point in that?"
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Sep 2008, 10:31, closed)

*click*
This is not a game of 'who the fuck are you'!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 9:48, closed)

Ummmm....
Darth didn't test the death star, governor Tuck did. on a whim. After Darth tortured princess Leia. So your story must be bollocks.
I dont think you realy are Darth Vader at all!
(lazy killer robot found that beer tastes better when your older, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 3:41, closed)