Anyone for tea?
I realise that reading this, coupled with my previous 'office fun' related post, may make me look a bit of a bastard.

Oh well...

One company I worked for, I worked closely with two other blokes - one of them was one of the nicest and most inofensive people you could hope to meet. Our working days were filled with the usual office humour and piss-taking, all very good natured and spread around us evenly.

Apart from the tea.

Cliffy, for that is one of his nicknames, was very polite - he found it nigh-impossible to say no to things. We used to take it in turns between us to use the little kitchen on our floor to get the drinks in. It was all free tea/coffee with all the sugar/milk/creamer/whatever supplied - plus a little fridge to keep cans of drink etc.

One day, Cliffy made a vague comment about how there was no sugar in his tea - but it was ok, he'd drink it anyways. He prefered it with one sugar, but he didn't mind drinking it however it came, thankyouverymuch.

It was like he had opened the gates of Gehenna...
From that day on, normally at least once a day, we would make sure that one of his teas was a 'special' one.
From memory he had:-

Black tea - no milk
Strong tea - 5 teabags and very little milk
Salty tea - salt instead of sugar
Cold tea - cold water
Coffee tea - tea with added spoonfulls of coffee
Fruit juice tea - fruit juice instead of water
Biscuit tea - tea with 3 digestives disolved in it
Butter tea - tea with butter smeared around the inside of the cup first
Marmite tea - a healthy dollop of marmite at the bottom of the cup
Vodka tea - a miniature bottle of vodka topped off with tea
Sugary tea - filled the cup with sugar and just barely topped it up with tea
Raisin tea - filled the cup with raisins and just barely topped it up with tea
Milk tea - filled the cup with milk and just barely topped it up with strong tea

and my personal favourites

Solid tea - tea with an entire packet of gelatin in it, which I left to set in the fridge overnight

Explosive tea - an lively little brew which used a cut-down polystyrene cup as a false bottom to the cup, with a tiny hole pierced in it. A normal cup of tea was poured into the cup, which contained baking soda underneath the false bottom. The tea was carefully and quickly carried to his desk, and just as he went to pick it up - litterally foamed all over the place.

To his credit, and my everlasting admiration, he drank each and every one of them - apart from the explosive tea. He even had two spoonfulls of the solid tea, before we let him off.
(Nogin the Nog is the good one! Beware Nogbad the Bad!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 17:28, 4 replies)

That is genious
And has given me a few ideas to try tomorrow.
(Milo Minderbinder, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 17:50, closed)

I think the raisin tea is my favourite

(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 18:13, closed)

Haha
this is ace, but the poor guy shouldn't take it so easily, as there's always ways he can get you back.

Solid tea sounds like the most hilarious, narrowly beating explosive tea because that's just mean.
(Stu Moo winner of five nobble piece prizes, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 22:30, closed)

"Click"
A well deserved click, if only for coming up with so many tea variations!
(ickledoozer last played ball-in-a-cup on, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 14:28, closed)