Eye eye
Years ago (back in the days before 'puters when entertainment…. blah blah) I was at school in a dreary northern backwater.

The food was, typically, dreadful vacillating between fried and tasteless and boiled and tasteless.

Oh yes and the star of the story, Semolina served in vast glass bowls.

The general rule was that you ate everything you were given. There was no discussion (nor were there any special diets, any meeting of religious requirements, humouring of vegetarians or anything else that could have been considered a display of individuality).

On this fateful lunchtime we had just finished double physics during which we had had the delights of dissecting a bulls eye (not the northern minty hardboiled confectionary but the things that boy cows use to see girl cows) and we descended upon the canteen for hearty victuals.

The menu was something like “Fried crap followed by a vat of semolina. And jam.”

At this point, one of the ne'er do wells on my table dropped a rather ill looking bulls eye into the glistening and pristine surface of the semolina from where it viewed the ceiling of our cafeteria with a rather bored cyclopean stare.

After much guffawing and other public school type merriment, a volunteer was press ganged into taking the bowl back to the rather fearsome looking Queen of Dinner Ladies.

"Please Miss" sayeth Oliver 2, "there's something in the semolina".

Expecting fainting and/or hysterics the onlookers were somewhat disappointed when the hairy paw of the Queen reached into the bowl, retrieved the eye and sent Oliver 2 back to the table to "Eat every last drop".

We did.

Curses.
(Mediaslut, Sat 20 Sep 2008, 2:48, 7 replies)

But you had jam!
How could you complain when you have jam to go with the fried crap, etc?
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sat 20 Sep 2008, 3:12, closed)

^^
You're right. Shouldn't complain etc.

Even now, aged 41 I still have fish finger and marmalade sandwiches.

Mmmmmm
(Mediaslut, Sat 20 Sep 2008, 4:17, closed)

sick sick
you're a sick man!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 20 Sep 2008, 10:13, closed)

Eye Nae
Dissecting a bull's eye in physics?

Sure it wasn't biology?
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Sat 20 Sep 2008, 12:29, closed)

how could you ruin
the awesomeness that is Semolina?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sat 20 Sep 2008, 15:44, closed)

This reminds me
Of the first story in KIss Kiss, a collection of adult stories by Roald Dahl, where a widow gets to keep her husbands conscious brain in a bowl, still conscious but with only one single eye looking up to the ceiling...
(Turn that bloody gramaphone down has incorrect spelling in her username *WINS*, Sat 20 Sep 2008, 20:43, closed)

wasn't it
watching crap tv ?
(happyjoy last changed sig on, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 14:06, closed)