Okay, KIND of on subject
Also a military college tale:

One of the things we used to do when we were Freshmen was to 'mustard shoes' of Upperclassmen that were particularly twattish.

Basically, when you are at a military college, particularly the one I went to, SHOES are a VERY big deal. Shining shoes was a CONSTANT fixation. While reading for class? Polish your shoes. While listening to music and relaxing? Polish your shoes.

Every day at formation, your shoes were checked...Freshman much more thoroughly than the Upperclassmen, but you get the idea.

So, during lunch, we sat at these long 'Viking-esque' tables with a Senior at each end. The tables were wide enough that, if you were careful, you could low crawl underneat the table if you were EXTRA-careful to avoid nudging or bumping someone's feet along the way to avoid them becoming aware of your presence.

So, take one squeeze bottle of ketchup, one squeeze bottle of mustard and one jar of honey, slip beneath the table while noone is watching and low crawl your way to the end of the table...careful to avoid the feet of the classmates and upperclassmen on either side until you reach the Senior (who, for the record is 75% likely to be an absolute jackass!) and then, with great joy (and terror) liberally squirt the contents of the mustard, ketchup and honey ALL over his PERFECTLY shined shoes.

Then, this is the hard part: back up.

It works. It RUINS weeks and weeks of shining by eating away at the wax in the polish and literally, they have to start ALL over again.

After you've safely extracted yourself, as inconspicuously as possible make your way to the PA (Public Address, I think you call it a Tannoy) System and announce, for ALL the other cadets in the room "MR ROBINSON! CHECK YOUR SHOES!"

Then, run like hell for the doors.

Sure, there will be beatings, hazing, threats, being singled out by that Upperclassman, but frankly, it was WORTH it.

Citadel
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Sun 21 Sep 2008, 6:30, 5 replies)

I always enjoy your stories...
.. not least because they never cease to amaze me how downright weird military academies are.
(inflateable, Sun 21 Sep 2008, 21:36, closed)

i nearly went to a military academy
but then my parents realised they love me ;)
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 21 Sep 2008, 22:02, closed)

Well...
My Parents loved me, but "I" was the git that wanted to go there...as it turns out, apparently, I was dropped more than once as a young child...

All kind of makes sense now that you know that bit, doesnt it? :)
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 6:13, closed)

Pretty sure we don't have those over here, thank God

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sun 21 Sep 2008, 22:52, closed)

Military stories
They're the best. I have a couple of ex-Navy friends and some of their japes and pranks are frankly legendary (or at least, exceedingly well told, as this one is).
(Rem Sir, why are you thrashing about on the floor?, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 22:39, closed)