A couple of years ago
I was living abroad and working in a restaurant in between copious amounts of casual sex with drunken scrubbers on hen nights and a large amount of heavy drinking and recreational drug abuse.

This one week there was this Scottish couple that came in and I have never come across such a pair of obnoxious cunts. They seemed to think that the world owed them everything. They were rude to every member of staff and whinged constantly about their food and how long it took. Basically, utter, utter twats.

I spotted them in the resort the next day, they were obviously on holiday with their kids and a bunch of their friends.

Later in the week them and their friends returned to the restaurant and I just knew I was going to have to do something to cheer myself up after fixed grinning at them and fawning over their every whim.

So I waited until they were tucking into their starters and sneaked out of the restaurant and down the street and bit to where I had noticed they were staying.

One of the windows of the apartment was open, so I sneaked in, strangled their eldest daughter, took the corpse back to the kitchen and minced the little fucker into their tapas.

The whole incident kind of got out of hand once the press got involved. Still, I managed to get rid of the remains without anyone noticing.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 21 Sep 2008, 19:13, 6 replies)

I
think only the father was a scot. wasn't the mother some northern twat?
( ascorbate, Sun 21 Sep 2008, 20:27, closed)

*click*
Twisted brilliance, al!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 21 Sep 2008, 20:38, closed)

Mr thegeordie,
you have a wonderful knack of using this story regardless of the question.

I generally find myself wincing a bit before clicking.

And this is no exception.
( Moey, Sun 21 Sep 2008, 21:02, closed)

I am sorry
In my defence, I try and only use it when the question is a bit crap. Or if I just really want to.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 21 Sep 2008, 21:29, closed)

There's no need for an apology,
you always use it very well.

Much like the fella (who's name escapes me) who uses the star wars story to similarly good effect.
( Moey, Sun 21 Sep 2008, 21:37, closed)

Nice
I like that Al.

I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with next.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 8:50, closed)