Banana Sunday.
When I was younger I had a girlfriend. A real one. All for me. We shall call such a time BI (Before Internet) as we all know anyone on here is a fat internetty geek. Now this young “lady” was absolute filth and up for virtually anything, unfortunately her idea of a threesome differed somewhat from mine and as a result we couldn’t agree on a way forward until one weekend when we were staying over at my dad’s place (I lived with Mum and he was away with his girlfriend). Poking around for something to eat I came across a bunch of bananas. These must have been S & M bananas because they weren’t just any bananas, oh no. They were fucking huge quite straight and even when peeled could have satisfied quite a cavernous clopper. I saw the lustlights go on in little miss filthytime’s eyes and knew what was coming.

“You could shove one of them up my snatch and give me a good brown ramming at the same time. That way I could pretend I was getting two blokes and you wouldn’t go off it cos your mates balls are banging against yours.” However, all was not so simple. She didn’t fancy the mess or the almighty douching needed to get the mashed up banana out of her coochie so insisted we chill it a bit and after peeling it put it in a lucky bag. So off we go and a smashing time was had by both. I gave her back doors a good kicking and she frigged herself rotten with the fruity fuckable. But the story doesn’t end there.

A couple of weeks later my Dad took me aside while we were visiting and severely castigated me.
“You filthy little bugger !” He said.
“Fuck! How did he find that out? I washed the sheets!” thought I.
Seeing the look on my face he explained further.
“If you’re going to introduce your young ladies to such practices, at least throw the thing out afterwards. I found a jonny full of brown squishy stuff and it burst as I picked it up. Thank Christ it was banana and not what I thought. Scruffy bastard.” He banned me from unsupervised stopovers for 3 months. I was 19.
(Donkey Hotay Tilting At Windmills Since, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 18:17, Reply)