Totally off topic but....
Can't believe I made it onto the Best page of the mobile phone disasters qotw. Thanks all for your comments...

Back on topic. Food sex, right? Same fiance in the previous question and I 'did it' with a Cadbury's Twirl, thinking the chocolate would melt really easily and be sucked out (rather a big fan of cunnilingus, sorry)
Turns out the temperature inside my ladygarden isn't hot enough to melt chocolate completely. Not so good when despite going at it like a puppy eating a Weetabix said chocolate confection snaps off and resists all efforts at removal. For a few days it was weird to go for a wee, wipe and get a choccy skid mark.

And inadvertent food sex. Going out with a bloke who was a rather fab cook (Thai food espeshly) who, after cooking me a fab meal and being thanked in the time honoured fashion, thought he was onto a winner when I started howling like the American Werewolf in London. Not pleasure. Pain. He'd not washed his hands after chopping bird's eye chilis. I resisted his suggestion to go to Casualty, not fancying telling some junior doctor how I've come to have third degree chili burns on the holiest of holies.
( Sallyrsm, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 20:37, Reply)