With ingredients like this...
...Cocoa Butter (Theobroma cacao), Shea Butter (Butyrospermum parkii), Perfume, Avocado Butter (Persea gratissima), Mango Kernel Butter (Mangifera indica), Lime Oil (Citrus aurantifolia), Sweet Orange Oil (Citrus Aurantium dulcis), Mandarin Oil (Citrus nobilis), Grapefruit Oil (Citrus paradisi), Saffron (Crocus sativus)... I think it counts as food sex when any guy I've given a back massage to using the above ingredients, (handily prepared in a massage bar for ease of use) is then more than happy to do my bidding. Lush product sex for the win.

On the flip side, Ferrero rocher is just not a good idea. Under any circumstance. Ever.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 9 Aug 2009, 12:25, 2 replies)

Ambassador, you are spoiling us.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 9 Aug 2009, 12:30, closed)

Goddamnit.
I was on here trying to forget how utterly sad and sexless I am at the moment (especially after finding that the guy twice my age who shared a few hours of lovely cuddling with me on Sunday night and suddenly freaked out when I kissed him is a fairly universally-reviled comedian according to google and, indeed b3ta itself!) when I read this post, thought it sounded familiar, and skipped to the punchline.

I am 24, six foot tall, hair flowing halfway down my back (from my head, I'm not a neanderthal), with double-D breasts and what I like to think is a killer smile, with said massage bar not two feet from me as I write, cos I love Lush....still can't get any.

WTF?!
(Angie the Redneck Wonder, Tue 11 Aug 2009, 13:35, closed)