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This is a question Food sex

Tell us your tales of your custard fetish and the rash you got from a bottle of HP sauce. Because we've ALL had a cucumber stuck up our chuff at least once in our lives.

(Question from MissUnexpectedNuttering)

(, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 13:50)
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hated them before, hate them even more now...
what? you may wonder?

Cadburys creme eggs, yuck, absolutely gross chocolate covered pus type things.
Anyhoom, me and the then Mr Butterface were going for a meal with my parents so theyre driving us up there when the convo gets onto creme eggs. my parents smile at each other and proceed to describe in crippling detail, how they used to eat theirs, apparently half up my mum, and half on fathers cock. I havent eaten one since, i wont even have them in my house. Needless to say the meal did not go well, and mr Butterface promptly buggered off and never called again. And this is why my parents have never met another mr Butterface.

Length? Fathers inabillity to send text messages to the correct people when drunk has ensured i also know the answer to that *cries* my parents have ruined my life.
(, Tue 11 Aug 2009, 17:41, 6 replies)
Why would your parents tell you this?

Parents don't have sex, they must know this!
(, Tue 11 Aug 2009, 17:58, closed)
most of my parents' "amusing" anecdotes involve sex, where, when, who. it led to us kids growing up extremely mentally injured.
father once chased a lesbian friend of my sisters with a dildo when they were about 18. he thought this was funny.
(, Tue 11 Aug 2009, 18:13, closed)
I'm not sure
how they could eat them if half was on each parents' genitals. Unless they're some sort of Dungeons & Dragons style monster.

Oh God, I've just worked it out.
(, Tue 11 Aug 2009, 18:07, closed)
As Philip Larkin said:
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.
(, Tue 11 Aug 2009, 18:31, closed)
I like cream eggs :(
I like this too! When I'm a parent and hate every guy my daughter brings home I will be sure to use this :P
(, Tue 11 Aug 2009, 19:06, closed)
please do not do this to your child!!!!! just stick with the good old, when she was born we couldnt tell what she was, so we thought it safer just to raise her as a girl! that wont destroy her completely!!!
(, Tue 11 Aug 2009, 21:03, closed)

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