Just last night
I was out to dinner with a friend, and parked the World's Most Embarrassing Car around the corner from the restaurant. We had a very nice meal, and I walked back to my car to go home.

Sitting on the pavement directly behind my car was a 30" aluminum baseball bat. It was certainly not there when I arrived.

I have no idea what I'm going to do with the damn thing, but it made me WTF for a few moments last night...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 7 Nov 2008, 13:14, 15 replies)

Someone
dropping a hint about what to do with your car maybe?
(Cock it says kapow!, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 13:21, closed)

I was half expecting
to find the headlights smashed out or something- but no, the car was fine, there was just this bat lying on the pavement behind my rear wheels.

In truth, if I could afford to I would replace this car and put it out of its misery...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 7 Nov 2008, 13:49, closed)

well -
obviously don't touch it... because you will be implicated with some sort of shooting - baseball bat shooting... but you may not be like me, and not get caught for walking on grass.
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 13:26, closed)

you could play baseball?
or beat people
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 13:31, closed)

...ya know...
...it is just about the right size and weight to be one hell of a weapon. I'd just need to rig up something so it could hang from my belt as I walk through downtown...

...nah. I'll probably give it to the kid across the street.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 7 Nov 2008, 13:51, closed)

Which car do you have?
It can't be more embarrassing than mine. I have a 0.79L engine: smaller than some motorcycles...
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:03, closed)

It's not the brand of car
but the car itself that's embarrassing.

It's a 1999 VW Jetta TDI that has been abused. I'm its second owner. The first owner let her daughter drive it for a while, and she somehow managed to run it without oil for a time so it now runs on two cylinders and has maybe 20 hp. During that time the cupholders got destroyed, it's been dented, the intercooler is munted, the turbo is toast, the hose connecting to the intercooler dragged on the ground for a while and is munted, and somehow she even managed to break the glove compartment. It's busted up, it has an exhaust leak so one side is permanently soot-covered, and it can't get out of its own way.

But it still runs and gets fantastic mileage...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:10, closed)

is that
fantastic mileage to american standards, or to rest of the world?

if your car has a 1.9l engine, then it is the same as engine in my Seat Toledo, and I frequently get 60mpg
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:37, closed)

Well...
using US gallons and US miles, it gets about 53 mpg. Let's see... convert to UK gallons... ummm, miles in UK are equal to 1000 paces, or eight furlongs... it's not a full moon, so I don't need to multiply by that factor... ummm, there's shillings in here somewhere, I'm pretty sure, and a few stones...

I'm getting about 64 mpg UK, which is pretty damn good over here. I don't know what sort of mileage your cars typically get.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:57, closed)

64mpg is pretty much as good as you'll get here too
you must be laughing as you drive circles (slowly) round your compatriots
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 15:00, closed)

They were laughing at me
when diesel fuel was so expensive, until I calculated the cost per mile of driving my car vs. theirs. A gasoline engine car typically gets about 30-35 mpg at best over here, where I get 53 mpg with the Weedeater. It works out that it costs me about 70% as much as it costs them to drive the same distance.

I think that when I can afford to do so, I'll replace the Weedeater with another diesel car. For one thing, one of the guys I work with brews his own biodiesel out of used cooking oil- if I can copy his setup, it will only cost me about a buck a gallon, instead of about three bucks. He uses his to heat his house and run his tractor.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 7 Nov 2008, 15:05, closed)

woohoo
Props for the Soul Coughing reference
(unclestinky, Sat 8 Nov 2008, 16:06, closed)

maybe your car was caught short
whilst you were in the restaurant, and just went on the pavement?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:07, closed)

Or perhaps
when it farted to a stop it just followed through...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 7 Nov 2008, 15:06, closed)

Click!
'Cos it made me lol. :)
(idle insomniac enjoys listening to Sigur Rós at stupid hours, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 19:06, closed)