Rectal treasures
As a nurse, I'm always up for the "Foreign Rectal Body Challenge" which is "Who can fish Object X out of this guy's ass first?" I have long slender fingers so I usually got first crack (haha).

The best thing I ever found in someone's ass was a vibrator, still running. Second place goes to the Troll doll*-kiwi fruit combo some drunken bastard was ninjasodomized with by his equally drunken girlfriend.



*That had to hurt!
collectively-yours.com/images/products/detail/16.1.jpg + www.freshorg.com.au/images/kiwi.JPG
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 8:37, 9 replies)

Well that's put me off kiwi fruit for life.
.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 8:51, closed)

My old man has anaesthetised someone
who had to have a pledge bottle removed from his rectum. *shudder*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 9:07, closed)

What I don't understand is.....
You can get perfectly good and cheap anal dildos from sex shops or internet sites, (so I've been told), so why would you use household objects?
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 9:55, closed)

For the sake of creativity?
I don't know, I'm as bewildered as you are...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 10:11, closed)

Unusual Insertions
As a student I recall killing time in the library by reading anything other than coursework. One book detailed bizarre sexual deaths in America. Two that stand out are: the man found dead in his garden. He was face down in a mud-filled ditch, naked, with a corn cob up his arse. Police did not treat the death as suspicious. Then there was the nurse who died from a form of poisoning that initially had the doctors baffled. The police were later to determine that she had been in the habit of mixing her parrot's droppings with water then injecting herself with the foul concoction. The police said that this was done for sexual gratification. I'm not sure how they were able to come to this conclusion. Perhaps the injections were intravag rather than intravenous.
( ThisCaledonianClown has left it far too late, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 11:12, closed)

Oh yes
^

Yes

YES

That is one of the wrongest things I've read

LUSH!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 11:23, closed)

I was nearly that story
Whilst being drunkenly pleasured by the missus with a well lubed vibrator, an involuntary clench of the old ballon knot whipped the slippery little bugger out of her hand and clean away up my spasming back passage.

Only several minutes of panicked, desperate straining on the bathroom floor prevented a midnight trip to the local A & E.

We don't play that game any more.
(Cock it says kapow!, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 13:38, closed)

reminds me of FHM
there was a story of an old guy, about 70, admitted to hospital with a large jam jar up his arse.

and as for the front, there was a very strange old lady who complained to her doctor about "green vines" growing out of her "virginny". seems she'd put a potato up there. not for any sexual pleasure, i think it was to hold a prolapsed uterus in place.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 14:21, closed)

Kind of related
I once stumbled upon this website, which is a board for medicine students / ER staff to share awful stories, many of them indeed being about weird things found in orifices... the horror. Fun reading though ;)
(St. Dymphna, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 5:43, closed)