I forgot!
The Phantom Knickers

This was a few years ago, I was seeing a delightful young lady and we were being extremely frisky; so much so that it didn't surprise me when I found some discarded ladies underwear in my washing one day (I didn't use a laundrette, washing machine at home - this is important).
The next time I saw her, I mentioned she'd left some scanties at mine and passed them back to her. She looked surprised, and then her expression changed as she opened out the knickers. You see, I hadn't really taken it in before, but this was the biggest pair of knickers you ever saw in your life.
I'm oblivious. I don't notice extraneous details. I just saw lady pants and gave them back. I'm also faithful, and I had no idea where these had come from.

Her face shifted. You could see her thought process. Was I fooling round on the side with a hippo? Or was this a deliberate, calculated insult? As she looked at them, I started to wonder too - had she planted them in my flat to cause a scene so she could dump me with an excuse?
We split up shortly after - about 20 minutes later, to be precise.
And to this day, I have no dea where the phantom knickers came from.
(davywavy, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 15:28, 7 replies)

this very nearly happened to me
washed some of the ex's smalls with my clothes. The dye from some of my jeans happened to run and selectively stained her knickers blue. She would not believe me when I innocently insisted they were hers whist steadily getting more and more annoyed at her for obviously trying to start an argument. Those were the days...
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 16:05, closed)

^
This once happened to me, I'm emptying out my washing basket at uni and find a small pair of lady boxers and a hair band. Not recognising either, having a long-distance girlfriend and not playing away, I assumed I had just forgotten the items, and presented them to the girlfriend when she next visited.

She wasn't exactly overjoyed when telling me she didn't recognise them, but I was keen to prove my innocence so started walking round the house asking whose panties these were. They turned out to be my housemate's girlfriends, and I think we came to the conclusion they must have been left in the washing machine before I put my load in (so to speak).

Conflict resolved and fortunately it didn't cause us to break up!
( Rookie You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 16:24, closed)

I lived alone
and so had no excuse whatsoever. I cannot for the life of me understand where they came from, unless they were planted by either her or one of my friends.
(davywavy, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 16:33, closed)

......
I want my knickers back.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Wed 12 Nov 2008, 23:21, closed)

If someone has been leaving knickers round at mine
And I didn't get any whoopee, I'm very put out!
(davywavy, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 10:03, closed)

Are you a giant girl hippo?
...just checking - it's often the obvious questions no-one bothers to ask.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 23:38, closed)

It's been suggested
But on investigation it turned out I'm not.
(davywavy, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 10:02, closed)