Mrs Spimf and I...
tend to be late for most things. So it came as no surprise some years ago when we found ourselves running late for her very own grandmothers funeral. We bickered all the way to the church about who's fault it was and why we were delayed. We even hissed a few choice words at each other during the service. Then we had to get from the church to the cemetery, so very soon we're back in the car and very soon we're arguing (again). Even though i had no clue where we were going I still insisted on driving (as I am a man/arsehole, and this is the natural order of things). So after a few time consuming wrong turns we soon found ourselves barreling down motorway when the now sulking Mrs Spimf muttered 'you're going to miss your exit'. There was a lot of traffic in the slow lane with no suitable gaps so like any safe and considerate driver i simply put the boot down to overtake the lot and make the exit - only to find the slow moving traffic was actually the funeral cortege carrying dear old granny - I only realised this as I scythed across the path of the hearse, effectively cutting up a dead woman.

Naturally we arrived first at the cemetery where the entire funeral party processed by in a sedate and respectful manner allowing them plenty of opportunity to glare at us as we sat in my highly distinctive bright red sports car.

I still blame Er Indoors.

tl;dr - wanker in sports car cuts up dead woman on motorway
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 15 Apr 2013, 14:33, 4 replies)

I think this should win.
(Somewhat ironically, some might opine).
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 15 Apr 2013, 14:59, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 15 Apr 2013, 15:11, closed)

That last sentence
can read a touch strangely...
( uncle bastard is twanging a dan moi, Mon 15 Apr 2013, 17:29, closed)

Oh come on, she was dead already.
Think of it as 'whittling' if that helps.
( Ghoti Fingers, Mon 15 Apr 2013, 20:14, closed)

spimf for mod

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 8:51, closed)

are you saying my story warrants intevention from paul weller
or i should be lording it over the naughty step?
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 12:15, closed)

Best euphemism ever.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 17 Apr 2013, 15:36, closed)