Not keys...
They say that the older you get, the more keys are added to your keyring. That may be true - but I've found that the older I've got, the more fucking insurance policies I have.

Have reached mid-30's, I am now the proud owner of individual policies for:

Car Insurance
Home Insurance
Bike (moped) Insurance
Health Insurance
Travel Insurance
Mobile Phone Insurance
Office Insurance
Dental Insurance
Pet Insurance
Life Insurance
Rental Protection Insurance

But...if the house burned down, the dog jumped out the window, the car and bike were stolen, no one rented out my flat, my teeth fell out whilst dropping my mobile down the loo, and I died in a horrible accident at work, just before I was due to go on holiday - I'd be quids in.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 11:43, 18 replies)

Wow!
I'm 36, and have one key, and no insurance.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 11:52, closed)

I insured my penis for £1 Million.
Due to my work commitments.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:04, closed)

I take it there's a
"self abuse" clause?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:34, closed)

you do realise
that the primary way an insurance company makes profit is by avoiding paying claims in any way they can?
(AndySpanners not working too hard on, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 12:17, closed)

If the claim is correct...they have to pay...
it's all about checking the policy terms. Vehicle insurance needs to have 'no claims discount protection'. Home insurance needs to have 'accidental damage' cover. Health insurance needs to have an 'amnesty' on pre-existing conditions. Shit, giving this advice makes me feel even older.

I've had my bike stolen twice in recent years - and fully paid out both times. A recent complaint saw me not on an NHS waiting list, but ensconced in a rather lovely hospital opposite Regents Park, with restaurant quality food, a 40" LED TV with full Sky package in my private room, free wifi and they called me 'sir'. Five days there and I was fully recovered, not only from my complaint - but that long being waited on hand and foot, seems to cure all sorts of malaise.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 12:32, closed)

You have access to the NHS,
but choose to pay for private medical insurance?
You must have money to burn.

It's your victims that I feel sorry for. Weren't you the one who mounted a rocket attack on a beach full of children?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 13:02, closed)

Don't forget all the rapes.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 14:49, closed)

Fucking hell
just try not to be a clumsy spastic and you don't have to pay anything
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:27, closed)

Congratulations on being the cause of all my
high premiums.
Unless of course you own absolutely *nothing* in which case enjoy your poverty. In that case - you should probably get private health insurance and income insurance - cause when something fucks up in your life you are going to need it.

I hated the idea of insurance when I was younger. To me it seemed like a gyp by the insurance agencies. But as I got older and ended up accruing assets I got it anyway.
The day my car got totaled by someone else and the day some thieves broke into my home I was kinda happy that I'd paid those premiums.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:24, closed)

Oh look, everyone's favourite Facebook stalking cunt is back again. Did you get fired in the end?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:41, closed)

Nope.
Got promoted and now run my own firm.

Crime pays.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:48, closed)

A promotion to run your own firm,
sounds like a cagey way of admitting that you got sacked.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:36, closed)

SSSssshhh, keep it down!!! or the fly by night ambulance chasers will hear you and constantly ring you up twice a day for the next 3 bastard months asking if you have had any loans that may have had unwanted PPI's they can claim back for you.
(Finster Ate a cat biscuit for a bet, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:24, closed)

Insurance ...
is a tax on fear.
(Que?, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:16, closed)

Just be thankful you don't live in Queensland!

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:36, closed)

enjoying that storm?

( Ken Oath, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:01, closed)

I'm 43
Car Insurance
Home Insurance
Bike (moped) Insurance
Health Insurance
Travel Insurance
Mobile Phone Insurance
Office Insurance
Dental Insurance
Pet Insurance
Life Insurance
Rental Protection Insurance

I only have the Home insurance as it's part of the T&Cs of my mortgage and the car insurance so I don't get nicked.
( P-MONKE We're all fucked, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 15:34, closed)

Risky...
No travel insurance, so no holidays?

No life insurance, so no dependants?

No health insurance, at your age?
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 21:32, closed)