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This is a question Turning into your parents

Unable to hold back the genetic tide, I find myself gardening in my carpet slippers, asking for a knife and fork in McDonalds and agreeing with the Daily Telegraph. I'm beyond help - what about you?

Thanks to b3th for the suggestion

(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 13:39)
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The Signs
Over several years of observation, I have managed to identify three clear stages of "oldness", the onset of which should serve as a definite warning you are turning into your parents:

A complete loss of ability to work electronic devices and appliances, even ones you could previously work. I have already entered this phase (am now 37) and if I want to record a programme on the DVD I have to get the instructions out (obviously carefully filed in the "Instructions" folder) and spend twenty minutes sitting cross legged on the floor grappling with the remotes, swearing etc. After this time, my wife (who is 31 and has not yet entered this cycle of oldness-onset) walks over and does it in 10 seconds.

A sudden and chronic sensitivity to drafts, associated with an irrational fear of getting "cricks" as a result (e.g. "Let's not sit too near the door, I will get a crick in my neck"). It seems to me that for at least 35 years, cricks / drafts are not an issue, and like most people I have thrown caution to the wind, and taken a "devil may care" attitude to the crick related perils posed by partially open windows, unstopped door cracks etc. This stage usually concludes with the wholesale purchase of a dozen "snakes" for preventing those nasty drafts coming under the door and wracking your body with cricks.

This is the "nail in the coffin" stage typified by believing anything that people more than 20 years younger than you say. Despite your utter amazement at these snippets of information you believe, you must at all times contain your enthusiasm and respond only with "that's nice dear" in a deadpan manner. Of course, when in the company of other dust-farters later on, you can excitedly regale them with the news.

Personally, I am beginning to show signs of Stage Two Oldness setting in (it feels like there's a window open in here somewhere). Alas, if only I had stayed on top of programming the video.
(, Wed 6 May 2009, 5:56, 6 replies)
This is great...!

Spot on observations.

Brilliantly written.

Use of 'dust-farters'.

(, Wed 6 May 2009, 8:43, closed)
OMG! I'm doomed.
I've suffered with 1 and 2 for years now.
(, Wed 6 May 2009, 8:59, closed)
I like this
If only there was a way I could convey that...

Ah, there it is.

(, Wed 6 May 2009, 9:00, closed)
Actually storing the instruction manuals for things "just in case I need them later".

Also, *click*
(, Wed 6 May 2009, 9:22, closed)
I am at this stage,
and I actually read the instructions once in a while (my first step down the slippery slope). I don't think I'll ever get to stage 3 though as I will probably never believe anyone younger or older than me as I am too cynical.
(, Wed 6 May 2009, 10:24, closed)
stage minus zero
actually reading the instruction BEFORE you start messing around with it.

as opposed to using the instructions purely to get you out of the shit you got yourself into by not reading them in the first place
(, Wed 6 May 2009, 11:05, closed)

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