It was the summer holidays
and my first proper girlfriend and I had recently started exploring the joys of the horizontal tango. With her mum and sister constantly at home, we had to find more and more novel places to go for a fumble.

We'd taken to packing a picnic and going for walks in the countryside, stopping in secluded thickets or crop fields to exchange naughties.

The time in question, we'd walked about three miles and came to a village. In this village was a church. Being less of a god-botherer than an appreciator of grand architecture, I dragged her in the church for a look around.

While the missus sat on the foot of the font and rolled her eyes at me, I enjoyed the Norman arches, the detailing on the eaves and the little faces carved into the candlesticks. A sarcophoegus with a thick marble top held a local dignitary, whose details had been painstakingly carved into the top for all to see.

Anyway... eventually my girlfriend tired of waiting and piped 'I'm horny!' knowing this'd certainly get my attention. I walked over and pulled her to her feet, giving her a peck on the lips. She pulled me in for a deeper kiss and soon we were in full flow, snogging and groping like the lustful teenagers we were.

Things were gathering pace, and soon enough she was unzipping me and started playing the pink oboe with some skill.

It didn't take me long to reach my peak and I warned her of my impending explosion - she hadn't warmed to the idea of swallowing and usually finished me off by hand, which is what she did.

She stopped sucking and started tugging away, and I came hard...

Into the font.

We kissed, I zipped up and continued on our walk.

Now I know there's no god, cos I'm sure he'd have smited me good and proper for that.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 16:24, 1 reply)

Are you kidding?
If there is a god, he'd have been far too busy choking his own chicken to do any smiting.

More likely you've earned some Holy Points with the big guy.
(Obsidian, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 8:04, closed)