And now a joke
God, Allah, Buddah, Thor and Venus are all sitting around in the heavens talking about their holiday plans, and God is at a loss as to where to try this year.
"Why not try Pluto?" suggests Allah.
"Nah - been there before - freezing cold and no atmosphere" says God.
"What about Mercury?" pipes up Buddah.
"With my skin?" says God - I'll burn to a crisp!"
"I know" says Venus - "Earth! You'd have a brilliant time there!"

"No way" says God. "I went there a couple of thousand years ago. Got some Israeli bird up the duff and the fuckers haven't stopped going on about it since!"

I thank you.
( BobbyParadise, Tue 24 Mar 2009, 14:17, 1 reply)

Thors tale
Now Thor decides Earth is for him, drinking, shagging, fighting (all at once if you're lucky). And he is, lucky that is. First night out he bumps uglies with a rather keen young nymph with a rather fetching speech impediment, you know, cute, makes her sound like a schoolgirl. A few hours later they're back at her place riving each other's clothes off and rattling bones like a pirates gambling den. Now him being a god he is rather impressive in the sack and lasts quite a long time with little recovery needed.

As the sun rises over the gasworks he rolls over to his conquest and say "I have a confession. I'm Thor."

"Thor?" she says, "Thor? I feel like me cuntth thplit!"
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 24 Mar 2009, 15:02, closed)