To give her an extra special facial
abstain from masturbating for a good few days. This allows your body to build up a healthy volume of devil's porridge to cough onto her face. Also, make sure you are well hydated.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:35, 4 replies)

And in case you're worried some might accidentally dribble in to her mouth,
snack on lots of pineapple for those days also, to sweeten things up.

(If you're going off her, snack on asparagus and garlic instead)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:50, closed)

That made me chortle
Plus I have a carton of pineapple juice in the fridge
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 24 May 2010, 15:56, closed)

If your going off her
Splurge it in her eye, apparently it stings a bit.
(BiggestNizzy your company name here pm for rates., Mon 24 May 2010, 16:12, closed)

Mrs SLVA is a very lucky lady that she has a very thoughtful geezer (or should that be geyser) like you.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 24 May 2010, 15:59, closed)