In the closet
This is a long one – so I do apologise in advances

Many years ago when I was a young teen - trying to do naughty things to innocent women – I started to see an attractive Muslim girl called …erm lets say Mel (which is not her name)

Now Mel was from a large Muslim family who were very religious, especially her brother. Some might have called him a fanatic. The police, for example, would have considered him a fanatic, but as this is pre 9/11 he was able to practice his freedom of speech without being held in a cell without charge. Even though her family had these views, Mel was a very western girl with very western views…….

Anyway – as I am white, atheist, drink, smoke and eat pork – we both decided that it was best if I didn’t meet her family straight away.

Now the first date had gone well – I got a nice little snog. The second date was even better. We spent our time laughing like children or staring into each others eyes like only a Hollywood couple would do (in front of fireworks and sweeping orchestral score). I even got a cheeky grope of her norks while sucking her face off.

The third date was set and we went out for some drinks, laughed a lot, talked loads and copped many a feel. As the night draw to a close she leant over and whispered into my ear “are you coming back to mine”.

I didn’t need asking twice.

As we approached her house she turned to me and said “You must be very quiet. My room is the only one downstairs and my parents are out, but, my brother is in. If we wake him he will kill you. And then me. Understand”. I nodded and felt a bit of fear. Her brother was not the sort of man I would want to piss off. In short – he was a fucking lunatic.

We made it into the house as silent as a mouse and crept into her bedroom. As soon as she shut the door she turned to me and ripped off my clothes. She was an expert. She knew exactly what she was doing. I just stood back, looked to the heavens and started to believe in god. I removed her clothes and pushed her gently onto the bed. She got back up and opened a large draw that was on the bottom of a huge Victorian wardrobe that was against her wall. After a few seconds rummaging she produced a box of condoms.

“Will you go out with me” I stuttered

As this was our first time – I wanted to make an impact. As we got down to it I used all my skill and know how (EG my early teens spent watching porn) and used every trick I knew. I threw her around the room changing position and angle of entry – it was almost a master class. As she sat on top gently moving her hips in beautiful rhythm I decided to change position one last time.

The problem was I didn’t realise how close I was to the edge and I managed to chuck her clean off the bed. If this is not bad enough, she didn’t hit the floor, but, fell into the open wardrobe door with a smack.

Shit – I thought. Then, in almost slow motion, the wardrobe started to topple. Her weight in the draw had made the uneven monster fall. As quick as a flash I jumped out and put the full weight of my 17 year old body behind it. It crushed me like a pack of cards onto the bed. I was completely stuck with a hollowed out oak tree on top of me and a naked Muslim girl stuck in a part closed draw at me feet.

“Can you move” she whimpered
“Errrrrruuuuurrfff…….no”
“Shit”
“Fucksucks”
“What are we going to do?” she asked.

I once again tried to lift the wardrobe, but, with no luck. I gave it everything I had, but, it didn’t budge an inch. Worse of all, the weight of it crushing my legs between the bed and its heavy door had started to stop blood flow. The pins and needles were really becoming unbearable.

“We are going to have to call for help” I finally said – visions of being hacked to death by her brother flooding my brain.
“No” She whimpered – visions of being hacked to death flooding her brain
“I’m sorry Mel, but, I can’t feel my legs”

She called out twice. Within minutes her brother opened the door. I twisted my head to take a look at him and he was just frozen in the doorway trying to work out what the fuck was going on.

“What the fuck is going on” he finally said – having failed to fathom our stupidity

“Get me out of here” I said (surprisingly bravely)

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON” he shouted

“It’s not what you think” Mel forced out. Which was a mistake as he had not even noticed her until then

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON” he bellowed

I became very clear by the blood vessel throbbing on his head that he was not happy. It also became very clear that I would not be seeing Mel again.

I never did. She never came out anymore and only “vetted” friends could see her. Her shame in her family was only very short lived though – exactly three days after this happened her brother was arrested in a public toilet.
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:43, 3 replies)

brothers can be a pain in the arse
mine opened the door on my head as i was getting jiggy with my ex on the kitchen floor ;)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:02, closed)

^^
That's so inconsiderate of him. Some people just don't think of others.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:10, closed)

^^^
Best last line ever!
( SteamedCleaner, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:52, closed)