"Fancy coming back to mine for a coffee"?
The aftermath of my marriage breakup was a tumultuous whirl of bitter recrimination, new found confidence, desperate lows and the occassional manic high. Alcohol abuse became extremely rife as I could hardly bear to sit in my flat alone at night for fear of bouncing off the walls. It's fair to say that I found out that it's actually quite easy to strike up a conversation with random strangers in pubs. It beats talking to yourself.

One Friday night (Comic Relief Night 2003 to be exact - March 14th), as I was preparing to meet some older mates from my dive club, my mobile rang. It was Dave, a former colleague. "We're on the piss in Morpeth tonight", said he, "get your boots on and meet us in 10 minutes".

And so I did. I had been over to Amsterdam a few months earlier with Dave and his mates, and had a great time - it would be good to catch up with them again. And so it was. We drank, chatted and laughed. We also nearly got thrown out of one bar, an 'internet' cafe (established as such in order to get a licence - the internet is long gone in there) after Dave thought it would be fun calling up Veronica Mozer scat porn websites. *EDIT* Do not, under any circumstances, Google this delicate lady, as Spimf appears to have discovered to his cost...

And so we wound our way from pub to pub, until we hit upon HQ...

HQ was possibly the most hideous place in the town, a meat market of the lowest order and the highest prices. The lads were keen to go in as it had a late licence, I was less so, having experienced the horror before. But the call for more beer won out, and in I went.

The lads did their usual chatting to groups of women thing. I wasn't particularly bothered that night, and to be honest I'm something of a spak-knuckled incompetent when in that kind of situation anyway. But then Dave came over to me.

"You need to chat to this lass" he said, and thrust me in front of a small, dark spiky haired female wearing combat pants. And with very beguiling eyes.

"Erm, OK. Hello".

"Hello", she replied.

Silence (apart from the bloody music pumping through the place).

Her: "Do you want a cigarette"?

Me: "OK, thanks"

Her: "I love your jacket".

Me: "Thanks. My wife bought it for me". *Oh, well fucking done, that was classy you utter tit*

And so it went. The conversation got less stilted; she was out with some mates and hadn't wanted to go into HQ either but was dragged in. Eventually we realised that we were alone; Dave and mates having gone off for their minibus home, and her mates having done similar. No worries, we were getting along just fine now after my initial aloofness had worn off.

It was approaching closing time, and she needed to get a taxi home. Only trouble with that is that the queue is huge, and it's not very warm.

"Listen, I live literally just up the street. Why don't you come back for a coffee, and you can call a cab without having to wait in a chav ridden, kebab wrapper infested taxi queue"? I suggested.

So she agreed. I made coffee, she called a cab, and we discovered some mutual tastes in music. Before long the taxi arrived and I escorted her into it. We swapped numbers and arranged a date the following week.

Mid way through the following week when she started texting me Viz top tips I realised we shared more than musical tastes. We still try to get each other to scoot coffee / beer from each other's noses with well timed one liners. We've had our wobbles, but we're getting hitched next year and celebrating that by attending a b3ta bash in Edinburgh.

Length? Five and a half years so far.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 18:57, 6 replies)

Yay for tourettes bodily functions.
Yours may be the first wedding party I cry at.
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 19:15, closed)

Aww....
How sweet! Excellent, clicky for that.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 29 Aug 2008, 23:42, closed)

Congratulations in advance and that.
Also *click*
(Sundayturkey has the biggest mug of tea, Sat 30 Aug 2008, 0:57, closed)

I'll click on this
cause you made me believe. Thank you! :)
(Jimmy Jangle, Sat 30 Aug 2008, 3:53, closed)

Aaaw.
Just aaaw.

I'm so happy for the pair of you. (That's you and Tourettes, not Tourettes' norks!)

*hugs*

*clicks*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Sat 30 Aug 2008, 10:38, closed)

thats beautiful
so why did i not just leave it at that - no i had to google verinica bloody moser - while eating a square of rather nice swiss chocolate

}-(
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 30 Aug 2008, 20:19, closed)