Why, I hit her in the ass with a football. How else?
My current flame is a soccer chick (that's what we call it here). And she's good. Really, really good.

So in college I see her playing in a league with a buddy of mine, and I tell him he's GOT to introduce us, for she's fit and has a face that makes you certain some poor bastard has already written her some shitty poetry about "radiant beauty" etc.

He brings me along to a game, and I'm on defense. There's a shift in movement, and I've got the ball at the top of our own box. She's right in front of me, racing for the half and anticipating a nice leading pass, which she will then carry to the opposing goal and dazzle us all with some brilliantly placed shot, maybe top corner, maybe through the legs of the keeper. There was nothing between me and her, and nothing between her and the goal. With so many strides ahead of any other players, she was all but already on a breakaway. It was a done play.

But, you see, she was really quite fit. I mean really well toned and with womanly curves that I just couldn't ignore. So when she turned to run for a pass, I couldn't see anything but that magnificent posterior, which I promptly nailed. With the ball.

Six weeks later we were dating quite regularly, and when I brought up the story she remembered it quite clearly and wondered exactly how I could have messed up such an easy play!

Six years later, and we have tickets to watch Beckham play tomorrow. She still distracts me from soccer now and again.
(jessemoya, Sat 30 Aug 2008, 3:32, 3 replies)

Are the Galaxy playing in LA?
It's a crap venue.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 20:57, closed)

Ref!
"... and nothing between her and the goal. With so many strides ahead of any other players..."

Sounds like she was offside anyway :)
(Dr. Scambolic, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 23:24, closed)

Hahahahaah
The way you Yanks talk about football just make me laugh. "It was a done play." It will never catch on in America, will it?
(Purple Jessop Jessoping Purple all over your father, Mon 1 Sep 2008, 2:54, closed)