1ST
Soz not my own story but Sir Itchalot's grandad (both of them as it turns out) used to stick their hands down his pants; at first the sweets used to shut him up, but after a while he grew to love it. Now one's dead and the other is fucked from a stroke, but he still remembers those days fondly, and is looking forward to practicing on his own kids.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 21:53, 11 replies)

So your story is:
'I have no story'?
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 21:53, closed)

Not as shit as your face you fucking cunt

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 21:55, closed)

I didn't realise you could see me from up inside your own arsehole

(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 21:56, closed)

There's a lot of love in this room.

( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 21:58, closed)

The cunt's looking to piss on my chips

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 22:00, closed)

If I pissed on your chips
That would still be better than your 'story'.
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 22:02, closed)

I love most people
Rory's just being angry on the Internet, if you poke him he might growl at you and gnash his teeth in an amusing way.
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 22:00, closed)

You can mock my story, but you can never take away my 1ST

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 22:04, closed)

If that's what it takes to make you happy
You can have your 1st. It would just be nice if you could provide a story to go along with it...
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 22:06, closed)

Well that's where you're wrong, I've just remembered that story you told me about your grandads

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 22:11, closed)

You're pretty hard to miss

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 21:59, closed)

Yeah, that's cos I'm so lovely
Unlike you and your shit post.
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 22:01, closed)

So your story is:
Waaah! Mummy, that nasty boy over there's being horrible to me!

1/10. Must do better. Meanwhile, I'm going to read some proper stories and ponder my own.
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 23:03, closed)

you are clearly jealous
You must have been too ugly to get felt up by your grandparents...
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 23:26, closed)

That's not how it works Cactus, however feel free to post your stories of being sexually abused by close family members and their friends

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 23:30, closed)

It really is hilariously easy to wind Rory up
I feel slightly guilty about, like taking the piss out of the fat retarded kid at school.
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 23:53, closed)

Oh man, you're seriously winning at the internet this time round

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 14:14, closed)

Oh, I didn't realise it was a competition
But anything that makes you feel better. You know, to help you forget about wandering grandparental hands...
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 15:30, closed)

Awe, but then you wouldn't be able to make any more up
and you're running out of material, I know. Just log back in as another of your aliases and just spew the same shit out again.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 4:27, closed)

You seem to be very upset at 4.30 in the morning Cactus, it's not like you to be tossing and turning in bed trying to come up with the perfect retort
or is it the many familial hands from your youth that seem to be disturbing you and keeping you awake
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 14:16, closed)

They do say it runs in the family.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 23:39, closed)