Bleergh
For amazing displays of food related greed I would like to mention my hygienically challenged ex housemate Rob.

A few select examples are:

i) Leaving any nightclub an hour earlier than everyone else so he could visit 3 or 4 alternate greasy takeaways before meeting us for a kebab before taxi ride home.

ii) One mothers day he went to Meadowhall to buy her something nice and opted to buy her a giant cookie from Cookie Jar. He had to pop back and buy another two times as he decided to snack on the present while we were wandering around the other shops (The sad thing is that we weren’t there long and had been for something to eat too).

iii) And in my opinion his greatest example of fat- bastardry (is there such a word?) was what he called his food crawls. The food crawl was very much like a pub crawl……but with takeaway joints. His favourite was at the retail park outside of Wakefield where he could fit in a round at KFC, Burger King Macdonalds and then meet up with me and a few mates before going to Pizza hut (The last time I mentioned this to him he was a little pissed off at the fact that Burgeer King had become a Subway so he had to order more when he called at Mcdonalds).

I could go on with more but just mentioning this has brought back memories of the stench he used to leave in the bathroom (no wonder I go through a hell of a lot less air freshener these days).

Before I do bugger off I remembered something I once said to him as a joke.

Me: Rob aren’t the guys in the Chinese takeaway confused when you go in and order? It sounds like you are playing hide and seek (I then count from 1 to 10)

Rob: Nah they no longer have a number 4 or 7 on the board and I always say the usual now.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 12:32, 6 replies)

he sounds like a monster

(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 12:37, closed)

He Was
But I needed someone to help pay the mortgage and he was looking for a place of his own. We did have a good time but his habits were so bad I have a shitload of material for QOTW from the time he stayed with me.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 12:43, closed)

I will now be attempting to use the term 'fat-bastardry' wherever appropriate...

(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Fri 15 Apr 2011, 12:49, closed)

jesus
even at my most jabba-esque, i could never have eaten that much.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 14:30, closed)

Is he not...
...dead yet?

Or bankrupt?
(Monchberter Can't go wrong with Doom, Sat 16 Apr 2011, 20:00, closed)

Food crawl!
And I thought I was the only one. Me and my mates used to do a pub/food crawl day session that was a greasy spoon fry up at the old Wallpaper supplies in Wigan town centre. Then get a train to Liverpool and get chips from Jimmy's in West Derby, then head over to St Helens for a kebab from GodFather, and then a train into Manc to finish off the night from with a pizza from Babylon. Combined with a day on the beer and all the travelling it made you very ill.
( Evil Bastardo, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:51, closed)