Greed is the first of five GIFTS...
GREED - The most important of the five GIFTS, to win someone over is to save them money or offer them a scenario in which they can reasonably expect to gain financially with little or no effort.

INDIFFERENCE - Even the lamest of slack jawed retards can smell desperation a mile off. It is important that the customer feels you have nothing to gain personally from the transaction and certainly nothing to lose by NOT closing the deal. By conveying indifference, but nonchalance, this can easily be achieved.

FEAR OF LOSS - A sense of urgency is required to quickly close a sale. By emphasising the limited availability or time frame for which a particular product or service is available you can manipulate the customers expectations, so they conclude that to postpone a decision will result in a financial loss (see greed above).

TONE OF VOICE - Ronseal. Use the tone of your voice and sentence structuring to make interesting that which otherwise would be, er not.

SHEEP - We naturally follow our peers like sheep. We feel comforted to know we are not on our own, blazing a trail out front. So to shepherd your folly in to saying YES to the deal, reassure him/her. "Your neighbours are doing it, the chap in the newsagent does and he saves a fortune etc...".

These are the basic rules of direct marketing. I learned them when I was 17 while employed on a commission only basis to door-step shops and businesses with with the aim of getting the proprietors to sign up for discounted utilities. For gas I got £10 and electric I got £15. Tax free. So potentially £25 per business that signed up. I made a fortune. At best it was about £150 per day 6 days a week. At 18 years old.

So the worst thing I have done for money is exploit the five gifts to bend people's will so that the outcome suits my own needs and desires. I even signed up my parents. The Shame.
(aroe_m0rre, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 23:07, 9 replies)

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 23:24, closed)

You knowingly sold shite to your family?
Greed score: 10/10
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 7:51, closed)

Still ... at least you didn't become a charmless loser for the sake of a bit of pocket money.
Oh.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 8:07, closed)

Fucking hell I hate salesmen. It's very easy to disarm them, though.
"Is it any good?"

"Yes, it's the best."

"Clearly not good enough to sell itself though. I'll look it up if Im' interested."

Under conventional ruling, this last sentence can be either concluded or preceded with repeated stabbing to the face of the salesman.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:17, closed)

When you say you hate that sizeable percentage of the population...
Do you mean door to door salesmen? Because I hate them too. What about B2B salesmen? They're not too bad. Hint.
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 13:12, closed)

I heard that b2b salesmen smash puppies with hammers and have tattoos of hitler on their arses.
It's just what I heard. Don't blame the messenger. You puppy killing nazi.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 13:15, closed)

I've been unknowingly using these tactics against salesmen for years.
Thanks for listing them so succintly!

My ruse when car shopping is as follows:

"Hello, I'm moving from town A to town B in 3 months time. I have absolutely no need for a car here in town A but I'll need one in town B so I thought I'd have a look and see what's out there."

I use it to feign indifference towards the salesman and pre-emptively bat off any suggestiong that there have been "three interested buyers already today". As far as I'm concerned, it's actually more practical to buy my new car when I arrive in town B so I couldn't care less that imaginary people are chewing your arm off to buy said vehicle. Of course, if I was to find a BARGAIN...

The other thing is to dress as though you are wealthy. In fact, buying new clothes to go *expensive thing* shopping can do a lot for your confidence when haggling. Alan Bennett used to harp on about the difference between "them" and "us" being confidence and a sense of entitlement.

It works well. Try it.
( blindmelon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 15:46, closed)

Tax free
as in "cash in a brown envelope, ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies" Tax free?
(Mork, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 15:53, closed)

You sound delightful.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 8:25, closed)