A few years ago
I had a part time job in a small petrol station in the middle of nowhere. One slow evening, after not having seen a customer for about 2 hours, in walks a fairly normal looking chap who proceeds to the magazine shelves.
Now like all good garages this one had a particularly fine selection of top shelf adult reading material and after a few minutes scanning the titles, our man makes his decision and strides confidently toward me and places his soon to be purchased copy of Escort Reader's Wives XXX Special on the counter. Nothing unusual or funny here as I had become quite used to people coming in late at night just for that special purchase. Upon scanning the item into the till I asked if there was anything else he wanted. He looked up at the shelves behind me and replied 'Yes, I'll take a tube of Bonjela too please'.
It was at this point something started to tick in my head and as I turned and reached toward the shelf, my mind caught up with me having processed the customer's purchase.... one magazine packed with images of the country's finest wives and girlfriends showing all that they have to offer and one tube of clear, sticky, slimy, slippery aniseed flavoured gloop.
My imagination then filled in the gaps and the reasons as to why these 2 items would be purchased together and at that moment the penny dropped. As I turned back toward the customer, I couldn't help myself. I let out a snort. Followed by a cough to try and disguise the snort. Followed by choking and spluttering until I could hold it in no longer, bursting in to uncontrolable fits of hysterical laugher and having to run out the back of the shop to regain my composure.
Meanwhile, my bewildered customer had decided to leave the shop, only made known to me by the buzzer sound of the door as it closed after him, leaving his items behind on the counter and me creased up in the stockroom cackling like a complete loon.

Long time lurker, 1st post. Apologies for nothing. *POP*
(munkyspunk, Sun 25 Jul 2010, 19:04, 9 replies)

Who the hell would use Ulcer gel as lube?

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 25 Jul 2010, 22:45, closed)

Who wouldn't?!?!!?
:9
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Sun 25 Jul 2010, 23:04, closed)

But, but, but...it really fucking hurts
Oops.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Sun 25 Jul 2010, 23:32, closed)

This experience talking? Though being woken up *ahem* by the missus after she has brushed her teeth first thing is surprisingly nice. . .
(Spiked_Rycroft The Prodigal Son, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 1:09, closed)

He probably just wanted bonjela. And a wank.
(orestes is shitting in the 1940s, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 0:20, closed)

It has a mild anaesthetic effect
Maybe he just wanted a reeeeaaaallllllyyy long wank?

*mental note: pop by the chemist on the way home*
(bigjonnydynamite, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 6:33, closed)

Was in Thailand with the GF
Strange as it sounds Boots has a toehold in Thailand and there are a chain of them. While we were browsing the store looking for plasters I came across something which makes Thai Boots far more awesome than UK Boots. Stud Cream. Knob numbing cream. Sex tourists who travel to Thailand to fuck prostitutes have created a demand for the stuff. I wonder if the same effect could be achieved with germoline.
(MagicMoose, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 19:25, closed)

From the other perspective
I once bought condoms and ear-plugs in the chemist. It wasn't until later that I realised how that must have looked...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 26 Jul 2010, 11:38, closed)

Did you buy a ski mask too?

( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Mon 26 Jul 2010, 15:42, closed)