The one-armed woman on CBeebies
brings out a welter of emotions in me.

For one, her arm doesn't end neatly at the elbow but has a couple of twitching, vestigial fingers that you can see probing the limits of their skin-flap... *shiver*

Wrong of me to be grossed out, I know, but it is what it is.

What always makes me laugh (guiltily) though is that the producers have clearly been briefed to re-enforce the idea that lacking a limb is not in any way restrictive. So they constantly have the poor woman playing charades (badly) and making things (badly) etc. I'm just waiting for the day when they give her chopsticks.

Plus, I really want to like her but she's sooo feeble and patronising and inane. Like that short-arsed non-entity of a co-presenter she usually teams up with.

Perhaps they'll get run over? We shall see.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 17:07, 22 replies)

Oh leave her alone
She's armle- she's a cunt.
(Darramouss Powered by Monster Munch and hate., Tue 27 Jul 2010, 17:12, closed)

My guilty laugh
is laughing at this!
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 13:14, closed)

For goodness sake give her some encouragement
lets all give her a hand
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 17:19, closed)

You don't need two hands to use chopsticks
you spanner.

(very funny though *click*)
(Sloppy Giuseppe, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 17:21, closed)

'Doh!
Actually I find I need one hand to steady the bowl or plate and the other to use the chopsticks, but then I'm a bit of a spaz...
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 17:26, closed)

Ha!
I was trying to think of things she could try to do and started pissing myself laughing at the thought of her trying to juggle.
(Sloppy Giuseppe, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 17:32, closed)

Yup
Playing the violin's out, too. As is providing two chaps simultaneous hand-relief, although I suppose that's not really CBeebies bag.

Why doesn't she just use a high quality, mechanised prosthetic. Jesus, Auntie is so PC. Just makes me want to daub a giant swastika on Broadcasting House!
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 17:36, closed)

and
who's laughing now?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNz4AskLE4w
(El Fandango carved a big EF onto his nemesis' doublet on .., Tue 27 Jul 2010, 22:55, closed)

Try picking them up one handed
and getting them correctly positioned betwixt finger & thumb
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 20:24, closed)

let's send her some poo

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 17:22, closed)

^ This. For no other reason than it's absurd.

( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 18:17, closed)

The Mail Online
I just carried out a Google search for 'bbc one armed woman' and the top result was a Mail Online article entitled 'One-armed presenter is scaring children, parents tell BBC'.
(ed-z, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 18:01, closed)

Flids under the bed.
(Darramouss Powered by Monster Munch and hate., Tue 27 Jul 2010, 18:13, closed)

:D

(Helmut McBucket invites you to pull his finger on, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 1:54, closed)

My dad,
due to an accident when he was about 7 years old lost his left arm from just past the shoulder.
He attended a normal school after much rehabilitation (this was in the 50's), and basically carried on as normal as possible.
His "disability" didn't stop him winning numerous athletic events in secondary school, including holding the school javelin record for a couple of years.
He also represented the county at football at under-16 level.

And he's daft as a brush.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 18:29, closed)

Didn't I read somewhere that she's the one in the frame for Richard Hammond's job on Top Gear?
(IHaveComeAmongThee__Twice Tissues on the left. Self-esteem on the right., Tue 27 Jul 2010, 18:41, closed)

they made her
I saw her playing twister (she was shit). I'm guessing the cbeebies director is probably a b3ta lurker. I waited for 'left hand on blue' but she took a dive on 'right foot on green'
( spingers, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 19:51, closed)

I'd like to see her take a shot
at arm wrestling.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 23:57, closed)

Just think of all the fine fisting porn that the world is missing.
The idea of her in porn makes me aroused giggle.
(Mr. W. K. Kellogg's Anusol Flakes (TM) is the other Special K, Tue 27 Jul 2010, 21:22, closed)

i think she's really fit.

( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 28 Jul 2010, 9:28, closed)

I have young kids...
... so I watch more than a healthy share of cbeebies. What I find weird is not that she has one arm (I have no problem with that) but that it has to be exposed in every single shot. She could be wearing a long sleeve jumper but it's cut to show the stump. Oh look now she's dressed as a wizard, a wizard with an exposed stump. Now she's dressed as a chef, a chef with an exposed stump. etc.

What statement is being made here?

I don't see why I should be exposed to that than some other presenter walking around topless to show off an unsightly birthmark or hairy back.

Anyway I'd probably give her one since she is quite personable and good looking. Just cover up the sodding arm, we get it already.
(MagicMoose, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 19:07, closed)

I just couldn't!
By nature I'm fairly generous with my affections (or was before marriage) and a missing limb on a pretty girl wouldn't ordinarily be a deal breaker but:

a.) You've got the creepy, incipient lower arm with attendant, sub-epidermal grasping motion *shudders again*

b.) Although she's no doubt a charming adult, she's a thoroughly inauthentic and utterly wet presence on Cbeebies. Totally lacks the natural charm of Sid and the tall bloke. and...

c.)She would probably insist on wearing a custom-made, bright, white latex wrap around the truncated limb and shagging under fluorescent light. JUST SO YOU DON'T FORGET THAT SHE'S MISSING HALF AN ARM
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:21, closed)