My young lady
is a very gentle soul and also a bit naive. A few weeks ago after a Saturday night curry and cider session we were laying in bed enjoying the prospect of a few more hours lay in before another lazy Sunday of pub lunches, cider, and a bit of afternoon mucking about. As I lay there it suddenly occurred to me that I had never properly consummated our union (by this I mean I had not farted near her as mine could kill a yak at 20 paces) I'm not sure what it was but suddenly I felt the time was right and turned to her and uttered the immortal words,
"Do you know what a Dutch oven is?"
As she began to shake her head, with a blank look on her face I let out one of those warm, slightly wet farts that smell exactly like a dead tramp covered in shit on a warm day and with the speed of a puma lifted the whole duvet over her head and held her there while the horrible guff did its work. To say she was not happy would be a small understatement. Since then I have enjoyed catching her out whenever we are in bed and I feel the rumble in my guts. I expect to be single very soon but what fun while it lasts!!!
(Jonny Wishbum had bad ear sight, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 13:22, Reply)