My Guilty Pleasures


1 - I enjoy cutting people up in multi storey car parks while riding a mountain bike. As you are able to weave in and out of parked cars and gaps in a bid to cut up a random person exiting/entering the multi storey. I award myself bonus points on how pretentious the driver’s choice of car is, and how agitated they become. The highest in the list are drivers of:

BMW 1 and 3 series, especially on a basic trim level,
4 x 4 Drivers that don’t need to own one in the first place, e.g. some random 5ft tall bint with lots of kids driving a Toyota Land Cruiser that should own an MPV/People Carrier instead,
Small poxy Mercedes Benz (C Class or A Class, especially in Silver),
Mercedes ML Class drivers,
Them small and shite Jaguar’s that are essentially a “Ford Mondeo wearing Emperor’s clothes”
Shitty chav mobiles with horrid body kits like Citroen Saxo, Vauxhall Nova

To quote some examples.

2 - Using the pointy bit of a Bic biro top to carve the crap out from under my nails and wipe it on the carpet. In fact, I carry a Bic Biro top with me specifically for this purpose all the time.

3 – Ripping people in electrical stores that are considering buying an Apple iPod (get a bloody imagination, there are better mp3 players out there!). I usually just shake my head and openly sigh in derision saying “Buy something better, they’re shite”. One time, I was with the GF and said to her in conversation “You know, my mate has had nothing but trouble with those” while a sales rep was demonstrating an iPod to someone.

4 – A quirky liking of Mike Oldfield and Kate Bush. And, owning most of their albums (and even enjoying Mike’s cheesier 1980s albums), been playing Mike’s stuff all week and posting YouTube videos up of live concert footage on the Bulletin pages of my myspace to weird people out. Despite being a scary 6 foot rocker that specialises in listening to death, thrash, and black metal.

5 – Pulling out excessively long nasal hairs. I award myself bonus points if I make myself sneeze, love it when that happens.

6 – Like some other peep on here posted, I love making people in cars stop suddenly while crossing a road if they don’t indicate. I often cycle past a Matalan factory and there are loads of their employees that do this. Bonus points are awarded as stated in point No˚1.
(Panteneman Isn't entirely sure why he bothered on, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 11:52, 10 replies)

I also do number 5
To the extent that my girlfriend bought me a nasal hair trimmer for Christmas.

I've never used it - ruins all the fun.
(Milo Minderbinder, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 11:54, closed)

Bloody hell
Except for number 3 (cos I like my Apple gear), that could almost have been written by me!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 12:00, closed)

Oi!!!

I've got one of those cars!

but I feel slightly vindicated that my 'Ford Mondeo wearing Emperor’s clothes' is relatively low on your hate list.

And I agree with all the others...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 14 Mar 2008, 12:02, closed)

Number 5
Try it with some snub nosed pliers, grabbing several at a time.
Sneezes, coughs, farts and occasional blackouts usually follow.
Can't beat it!
(turtles head is touching cloth poked a dwarf on the forehead at, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 12:05, closed)

For the record...
My GF bought me a nasal hair trimmer, which I occasionally use. But, it’s nowhere near as fun as pulling them out yourself. I don’t know what has been happening over the past couple of years, I have been having outbreaks of these “nasal spiders” and it’s quite annoying. I prefer using my own fingers, being more effective if I don't clip my nails as it aids the gripping of the hairs. Worryingly, you sometimes get a slight smell of oil with using a nasal hair trimmer. I should know better really as I suffer from random nosebleeds sometimes.

With regards to Apple gear, what I particularly hate is their marketing and brainwashing that they have accomplished. That pisses me off the most, people don’t seem to understand that there are other, and in fact, better choices of mp3 players out there. The brainwashing has even gone as far as many people generically referring to ALL mp3 players as “iPods”. To demonstrate a point, a work colleague went as far as saying “Don’t know, don’t care, I’m happy with it, everyone else has got one and you are the only person to find fault with it. You’re just being a quirky bastard as per usual” was his dismissive response. For the record, I prefer my Archos AV500 that is choc full of tunes and DiVX of music videos, Black Books, Bill Bayley, Black Adder, Peep Show, etc. Not forgetting the TV docking too, saves carting around loads of DVD’s to my friends gaffs, or my GF’s.

The car “hit list” isn’t in any preferential order. I distinctly remember Jabba The Hut’s car (my manager), his X type he owned. It was so “Mondeo-y”, with the same clocks, switch gear and even down to the 2.5 litre engine which is the same as the Mondeo V6 (I am open to correction with this). It did nothing for me.

Jags are only cool if they are the big ones with a 3.5 litre engine or bigger, as chauffer driven by members of Parliament. You know, those ones. THEY are proper Jags as far as I am concerned. Just opinions, that’s all…
(Panteneman Isn't entirely sure why he bothered on, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 12:35, closed)

Matalan...?
Is that the one in Skelmersdale?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 14:45, closed)

Possibly...
Why, did I cut you up driving to work one morning? ;-)

Their security guards are jobsworths, the bloody queue sometimes goes all around the roundabout and surrounding junctions. Bloody annoying...
(Panteneman Isn't entirely sure why he bothered on, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 18:34, closed)

ipods
can anybody name a better bloody mp3 player than the ipod because after 2 creative zens that fucked up (one after less than a month) I was told that ipods are the best and I HATE it. I never wanted one in the first bloody place and I now know my hatred for them is justified. I have nothing good to say about it.
(lei, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 21:04, closed)

Weird,
Don’t know how you had shit with a Creative Labs player. How odd.I have a Zen Extra 40gb that I have had for a couple of years that is a bit of a brick, but sounds ace with Senneheiser earphones on it.

Well, the Sony stuff seems to be good up to now. I like the Archos stuff personally, but they can do DiVX video and stuff. But these are more for video and tunes on the go.

Have a search around some online reviews perhaps?...
(Panteneman Isn't entirely sure why he bothered on, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 16:24, closed)

Nope
I don't live there anymore, and don't drive anyway.

Just thought it sounded a little familiar in conjunction with your profile!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2008, 9:15, closed)