Mr. Average...
I have just one guilty pleasure and it always acts a huge ego boost.

I'm a very average looking guy in his mid-forties but my slightly younger wife is an absolute stunner – one of those women who turns heads wherever she goes.
The guys at work can’t understand how I ended up with such a honey and they usually make comments like “You must be hung like a horse” or “You must be good in bed”.
I’m guessing I’m actually Mr. Average on both counts, but clearly I’m no Brad Pitt in the looks department.

Female colleagues also comment on how gorgeous my wife is and this has led to my guilty pleasure: I’ve had offers of “casual liaisons” from some very attractive female workmates which I can only put down to the well circulated comments of my male colleagues. It’s very satisfying to have some of the hotter women at work make their intentions to me clear and it frustrates the hell out of my better-looking-than-me male colleagues!

Length? Just an unfounded rumor!
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 15:53, 11 replies)

Well there goes the myth
about women always just wanting a 'nice guy' who 'makes them laugh'. :-(
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:03, closed)

@ Rev F
Not at all! While it may be interesting once in a while to have a go with a studmuffin, most of us prefer a normal man who takes reasonable care of himself and has a personality - looks fade, sex lives wax and wane but a sense of humour sees us through all of it.

If large genitalia goes along with the sense of humour and general nice-guyness then he's a keeper!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:17, closed)

one night after work
I went into the toilets and scrawled some graffiti about Frankspencer having an enormous cock and remarkable sexual technique.

The next day, I was propositioned by Barry. I had omitted to put my graffiti in the women's toilets.
(frankspencer, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:18, closed)

Chickenlady
But if he's not *quite* as funny but has a huge schlong then...? ;-)
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:27, closed)

Oh...that's a toughie....
But personally I wouldn't keep him.

Humour ultimately wins.


It's a bit like that advert with the kid choosing 'Dad/chip?'
Although that's probably not the best analogy...
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:29, closed)

Mrs emadex says...
...she's just read the post and replies and although she found it hard to keep a straight face, she advised me of the following:
*It probably is my sense of humour (and apparently considerate nature) that ladies find attractive.
*She hadn't heard any big-willy rumours before she met me and she still liked me.
*She reassured me that I do have a big nob and am a legend in bed. But she has been drinking and probably doesn't want to see me cry.
*She thinks frankspencer is funny. Like I said, she has been drinking.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:40, closed)

Let me get this straight...

You've just told your wife about the fact that you get offers from other women?

brave......very brave....some would even say foolish....

Let me know what happens when her hangover wears off...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:47, closed)

Pooflake...
...she knew way before tonight. There's a lot of trust after 21 years of marriage. Plus if she gives me any lip I won't let her wear the strap-on for a week. Oh alright, make it a day.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:56, closed)

...
Being a bit of a newbie to this site I'm intrigued...

What percentage of QOTW posts are NOT lies / exaggerations / ill-advised puns?!

So far everything I have posted is 100% truth - is this where I am going wrong?
(Mean Mad Mutski, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 17:10, closed)

I bet it frustrates the hell out of you too!

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Wed 19 Mar 2008, 17:19, closed)

...
Frankly I don't care if it's true or not - as long as it's entertaining!!

The truth does add a bit of spice however, so I shall stick to my guns....
(Mean Mad Mutski, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 17:33, closed)