Praise the Lord...
I can't really pinpoint when my most gullible moment was, but I'm guessing it was the time I decided to join the Church.

I was only young, so i probably didn't know any better.

I grew up in a rather broken home, with a disabled mother and angry father. I felt the brunt of his anger a fair few times. Oh, and he was a bodybuilding champion, so it made it worse. In reality, he was suffering from a crippling depression, and needed psychiatric help. Probably due to some repressed childhood experience, but I digress.

My mother, my brother and I took solace from the community spirit we found in the Church. Community spirit we thought came from the 'power of God.' I lapped up the Bible stories, my voracious knowledge of them infuriating my stridently atheist father even more. A few years later, my mother made a nigh on impossible recovery from her disability - a massive spinal injury btw - which we saw as a miracle. I'm still not sure that this wasn't some divine act, it certainly wasn't will-power related...

In a 'Road to Damascus' moment, my father turns to God. He joins our Church. Double result. plain sailing from now on? Oh no. It could never be THAT simple.

The anger continued. if anything, it got worse. But now the church elders intervened. 'You must submit to your husband', they told my mother. 'It says it in the Bible.' Any self-respecting woman would have walked out. She stuck by him just as she had done when she was disabled. Believing all the crap that was supposedly 'sent from heaven.'

I suffered quite a serious breach of trust by someone in the church, details of which i shall withhold, for now. You can make your own mind up, but the long and the short of it was that I suffered a nervous breakdown at the age of 8. I was bullied by my teacher, herself a member of the Church. (this isn't just one church, this is the Church in general) I descended into depression. Only a move away from my dreadful church-run school saved me from another breakdown. They did similar (if not worse) things to my brother. it wouldn't be fair to mention all of them, but he was humiliated on a school trip. By the Headmaster, no less. Cunts, the lot of them.

I, for some reason, rejoined the Church a few years later, after a couple of years in exile. I thought I'd just had a bad run. Christians are supposed to be God's messengers on Earth, after all.

it was good for a couple of years. I made some good friends. Then I went away to uni. Dared to have a girlfriend who wasn't a Christian. Dared to *gasp* sleep with her. Outside of marriage? the fires of Hell for you! I was constantly bombarded with questions about my private life upon my return. 'You shouldn't be doing things like that', they'd say. trying to control my life. The same way they'd tried to control my mum's life, and succeeded for years. My parents, incidentally, had left the Church. Their marriage was going great, still is. Coincidence?

There were 2 final nails in the coffin. A few years ago, an old friend had realised that he was gay. But he couldn't be gay - he was a Christian! What was he to do? Confused, he confided in someone from his church. He was told he'd need counselling, and Jesus could help him be 'freed from the demon of homosexuality.' Then, the following Sunday, someone from the same Church preached a sermon about not being afraid to die for Jesus.

He killed himself the next day. Chucked himself off a cliff, no less. His family were distraught. He had a fiancee at the time, a lovely girl. She was obviously devastated. His best friend had missed a call from him that morning, through sheer carelessness. I can only imagine how he must have felt. He was only 23. The same age I am now.

Then a couple of years later, I lost another friend, in a car crash. He wasn't a Christian, and it was during a conversation with one of my Christian (former) friends, that I was informed that he would be in Hell. Because he didn't believe in Jesus.

I just couldn't accept this any more. How could someone who was loved by so many (the church was rammed at his funeral, people were spilling outside) being burning under the fires of eternal damnation, and the same Christians who bullied me and my brother at school, humiliated us in front of everyone, be resting in heaven when they die? No fucking way.

It is only now that i can look back and see that I was conned. I was conned into believing a Bible that is merely a propaganda tool, to subjugate women and oppress those who don't believe, I was conned into thinking I was part of a unique family: any member of any club can claim to be part of a community, bound by a shared interest: what makes believing in a God you can't see so different? They told me that life as a Christian was wonderful. They lied.

I still believe that there is a God, although I utterly reject the 'God' I grew up believing in. Judging by what I've seen and experienced, I'm beginning to think I was communing with the Devil.

Apologies for length, it was about 21 years before I realised the error of my ways.
(pacman_40 Pocket Kleenex: for the wanker on the go, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 20:16, 9 replies)

church
nice one, think i'm pretty much in the same boat, ie there's more to life than this.
But the number of people who use religion for their own aims is staggering we'd definately be better off without.
(Discreditor wants the dream to come true, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 20:28, closed)

Exactly
There is definitely a bit more than just these bones and organs, but all religion does (in particularly Christianity) is boost people's egos. Making them centre stage. the cruelty of some people is astounding.
(pacman_40 Pocket Kleenex: for the wanker on the go, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 20:31, closed)

fukinell
what a load of bastards

tell them all to piss off with their magic jewish zombie space fairy carpinter rubbish.
(pissflaps. FSPW, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 20:36, closed)

:(
Glad to hear you're in a better way now, nobody needs that kind of mindfuckery.

And "magic jewish zombie space fairy carpenter rubbish"?

Oh how I wish I could click replies!!
(blueberrypossum wants to Jaffa your Cake, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 20:40, closed)

I would respect religion more...
if it didn't attract so many utter nutters and arseholes.

*click*
(Big D, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 20:53, closed)

religion, in my opinion, is a huge pile of shite.
i was never a believer, never will be. i fail to see how anyone could be. religion is the cause behind most wars and an excuse for invading the homelands of anyone who doesn't share the same beliefs. do as we say, you'll be rewarded. disobey us, you'll suffer eternal torment. anything that has to use threats like that is just wrong.
similar to your story, one of my best friends is gay. he is the nicest, kindest, most considerate person you could ever wish to meet. he built a wall in his bedroom to make a small second bedroom, just so i would have somewhere to stay. when my parents went to spain for christmas, he put his own plans on hold and arranged a huge christmas dinner, with all the trimmings, just so that i wouldn't miss out. he's my best friend and i'd trust him with my life.
according to the bible, however, he is evil and must deny who he really is to get into heaven.

fuck THAT.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 0:42, closed)

I can think of no more accurate description...
...of organised religion than your final statement. If the devil exists, it's in religion.

I'm glad that there's people out there who believe that, if there is a god, he's not in the churches.

And I'm glad you didn't let those bastards trap you forever. :)
(Musuko, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 17:25, closed)

I feel for you.
You probably won't be back to read this - and probably no-one will.

My experience of organised religion involved my first stepmother, who followed a perverted version of the Baptist faith. Beatings were frequent - but only when my non-believing father wasn't around. After all, you have to beat the sin out of a child - and you mustn't let the infidels stop you in your holy mission.

Dad only found out about this years later, after she had left to take on with some other single-parent family that needed 'fixing'. Pity that kid.

So I was faced with cowardace, violence and hypocracy all in a package that guaranteed me to be a nasty little misogynist until the day I met a wonderful woman who, if you assume that the sky-fairy has a purpose for everyone, taught me that people can be responsible for the most remarkable acts of magnificence and beauty.

She died five weeks after we were married from the motor neurone disease that she'd suffered with for five years.

Whatever I might worship, and however I do it, it won't be because some effete, money-grabbing, self-interested control freak shitstack decides it's in compliance with their ridiculous vision of their violent, emasculated "Lord".
(Guizmeaux, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 19:57, closed)

Agreed
Listened to a thing on wars on Radio 4 the other night, and the tommies were being preached to that "God is supporting our fight against the Nazis". Find a german body, looking at his gear, and his belt buckle has "Gott Mit Uns" on it. So who the fuck is he with? Who is the evil one? Atheism is a wonderful vantage point, I must say.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 7:53, closed)