when i was but a grotty little spimf...
...around 14 or so. I went to a disco with my mate Derek or Dee Dee as he liked to be known (he became a hair stylist in later life). It was an under 18’s affair in the middle of the afternoon – sad i know. Never-the-less the adolescent Spimf moves must have worked as I pulled. The object of my desire was Shirley – a Goth no less (original Goth mind you for all you emo’s out there, this was the 80’s) so despite the Robert Smith al la Cure big hair and wonky lipstick she was also quite cheery and had a crackin set of gonks on her into the bargain – no protruding ribs and self harm chic here thank you. So it turns out Shirley was from Milton Keynes, tres exotique – well it was to me at the time being a spotty teenager from sunny Glasgow. I quite liked her English accent – sounded quite classy to the young Spimf.

Anyway the romance blossomed and Shirley and I saw each other once a week for around six months or so – I even phoned her from a dull holiday in the Isle of Man with my parents to lie about how i wasn’t snogging of fumbling with other girls, such was the depth of my feelings.

As is the way at that age the romance eventually fizzled out – i don’t think there were any ‘yer chucked’ moments – if there was it hasn’t burned a significant hole in my heart as i cannae remember.

What i do remember very clearly though is years later going to a party. There I met Shirley’s friend (the one my mate Derek pulled at the disco) there she was ridiculing me and regaling all who would listen with tales of my immense gullibility.

Apparently ‘the joke’ was on me – Shirley wasn’t from Milton Keynes – her accent was put on. Seems her name wasn’t Shirley either.

Well bugger me! Maybe I was gullible or simply trusting or erm... normal.

Why someone would keep up such pointless pretence for so long and for what purpose was well beyond me - still is.

Daft bint.
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 13:42, 4 replies)

embarrassment?
gave you the wrong name and faked an accent at first and then felt too embarrassed to correct it afterwards because too much time had passed?
(stapleface, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 20:20, closed)

Trust me
If she'd had a Milton Keynes accent you'd have struggled to understand her =o]
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 23:15, closed)

@ stapleface
yeah i get that - i realised that must have been the case. the bit i dont get is why i was regarded as being the one who was a bit bonkers
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 7:12, closed)

err...
I suspect 'her' name was really 'Steve'
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 11:24, closed)