fun alternative to hideous gyms
i'm too tight to pay for gym membership, and too lazy to feel obligated to go to get my moneys worth, if you want to be slim and have fun in the process, try the following top tips -

if you're sensible enough to smoke the herb, discipline yourself to not feed the munchies, fill up on squash instead for that full stomach feeling without the calories.

gym membership costs about £40 a month, a gram of mdma also costs £40,
divide the gram into four doses and go clubbing every other week, you'll get two months worth of excitement from that gram, a couple of months of that and you'll be wafer thin.

after consuming various amphetamines regularly over a period of years eventually your metabolism gets stuck on high, you can now curl up on the sofa with a big mac meal and a PS3 without fear of lardyism.
(amazinglasercow now sporting terawatt mining lasers, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 14:20, 11 replies)

Does this work?
I might have to try it!
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 14:29, closed)

yeah
works for me, not feeding the munchies is the hard one, but once you get used to it, especially if you can limit yourself to three sensible meals a day, then anything else you know is the herb talking and you can shut that up with squash, your body can't tell what's in the stomach, just that it's full.
(amazinglasercow now sporting terawatt mining lasers, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 14:46, closed)

Herb is the way,
It dilates the capillaries, increasing blood flow throughout the body. It's not dissimilar to a short cardiovascular session!

Couple that up with a healthy sex sesh and there you go- exercise can be fun.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 14:35, closed)

yes...

But I've lost more mates who died through using speed than all of the other drugs (including alcohol and tobacco) combined.

Heroin might fuck up your life but speed kills....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 14:36, closed)

Then just stick to MDMA!

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 20:36, closed)

This may or may not
contain healthy doses of internet lies, but I like it. I like it very much - I only wish I could put your theories to the test!

*click*
(berk, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 14:37, closed)

would i lie to you
i'm out here doing the research for all mankinds benefit. My daily food intake comprises eating 5 weetabix every morning with a 1/4 inch crust of sugar on top, snacking through the day on chocolate, fat sarnie for lunch and a full pound of pasta (with a half pound of bolognese on top) every night and i remain thin although i've gained about 4 pounds in 14 years and have done no exercise of any kind the whole time.
(amazinglasercow now sporting terawatt mining lasers, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 14:54, closed)

You will find
as you approach 40, that the collagen tissues in your abdomen start to 'loosen' and the gut will follow the natural course gravity dictates. A high metabolism is a marvelous thing but can only go so far.

Stomach exercises will hide the real evidence for quite a long time!

Not that I speak from experience, I haven't done any exercise myself for ten years and it's starting to show!
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 15:13, closed)

.
The endless soul-destroying depression can get to you after a while, but other than that its a smashing idea.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 15:07, closed)

Sounds like my first year at uni
Second year starts in September :)
(Glomp Fuck, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 15:55, closed)

Allow me to be an inspiration to you all....
42 years old, 13 stone, 6'1" tall.

Weed-smoker for...ooh...20 years (though much cut down since the arrival of my daughter 2 years ago).

Don't go to the Gym, supressed munchies many years ago - I reccomend the pure magic that is tea. I eat healthily (no quick meals, but I do the occasional takeaway) as a rule of thumb and don't drink much in the way of alcohol. Heart rate around 73 at rest (bit high perhaps?)and can outrun, outlift and outperform(ooer) most that I know.

also a fucking genius(1).

(1) - May contain COMPLETE bollocks.
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:28, closed)