Show us your pianist
Rather like the Chubby Brown tale from earlier...

In the late 70s, while at college, I worked part-time as a drinks waiter in one of the last cabaret clubs on the circuit - chicken in a basket, full floor show, bit of dancing etc.

There was a support act on one week called Mike Terry, Liberace-type pianist, looked a bit like Mike Flowers Pops if I remember right. As camp as tits, in a working-class Manchester suburb not really known for its tolerance.

He did a week there and was quite popular, except for the last night where he got constantly heckled by some drunk at the back. He put up with it, but you could see he wasn't that happy.

As he finished, he did the customary round of thanks - management, staff, audience. The last thing he said before he went off was:

'As for you' (nodding towards the heckler at the back), if your cock's as big as your mouth is, I'll see you in the gents afterwards.'

For a second you could have heard a pin drop. Then someone laughed and the place fell apart. Could have gone either way, though.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 16:43, 5 replies)

Excellent!

( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 17:02, closed)

I say, winner. Apart from it being a put down and not a heckle.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 17:32, closed)

To be fair, heckles and put downs go hand in hand.
A heckle is pointless unless met with a put down.
A put down without a heckle is just being mean.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 17:49, closed)

Cock off dick face

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 21:05, closed)

Cool story bro.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 19:59, closed)