Rike Bage
My last incarnation was a keen cyclist (not me though, dunno why... just dont fancy it). I was also a sweary fellow back then (now I am all nice as you know! Sweeties XXX!)

A few months ago he - I was out cycling around the town, and stopped at a red light, as you should.

The young gentleman in the bright red car (sorry don't know the make, but perhaps it was a Honda Accord) wound down his window and said:

'You should wear a helmet.' (I never wore a helmet - the daredevil!)

Quick as a flash I responded:

'Yeah, like I wear a condom when I fuck your Mum.'

I then zoomed off as the lights had changed.

There you go, sweeties! An actually funny and true story - AS USUAL!

Laters!

XXXXXXX
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Sat 14 Jun 2014, 18:28, 11 replies)

You scallywag and scamp

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sun 15 Jun 2014, 11:25, closed)

Sweeties?
Is this a defence mechanism?

I'm struggling to comprehend why you bother to be honest
( Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Sun 15 Jun 2014, 12:57, closed)

www.nhs.uk/conditions/autistic-spectrum-disorder/Pages/Introduction.aspx
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Sun 15 Jun 2014, 13:28, closed)

I sometimes wonder if the reply button was such a good idea
it seems half the 'tales' here are written nervously with the replies they might get in mind, making what was once the occasional chuckle reading through them into heaps of pitiful, uninteresting garbage
( Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Sun 15 Jun 2014, 15:12, closed)

I'm not nervous of anything sweetie
Least of all all my fine felchsome fans on here!

They all love me So much!

MMMMMWAAAH!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Sun 15 Jun 2014, 16:12, closed)

Interesting!
THanks sweetie

XXX
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Sun 15 Jun 2014, 16:12, closed)

Struggling, are we?
Never mind - SWEETIE!!!

Have a BIG HUG (((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))

And some kisses

XXXXXXX
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Sun 15 Jun 2014, 16:10, closed)

We wish your dad had worn one.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 16 Jun 2014, 9:24, closed)

Thanks for the kind thought sweetie
but I don't have a dad. I am a Time Lord and was born from the Loom. House of Skagraxxadon.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 9:52, closed)

Bah
You should've pissed in your own mouth.
(RebelWithoutApplause My underestimation will almost be the death of me, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 9:28, closed)

Hard do to
when one is the owner of a vagina.

I will try though! What larx!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 9:53, closed)