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This is a question Helicopter Parents

Back when young ScaryDuck worked in the Dole office rather than simply queuing in it, he had to deal with a claimant brought in by his mum. She did all the talking. He was 40 years old.

Have you had to deal with over-protective parents? Get your Dad to tell us all about it.

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 15:13)
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Mother dearest
was oppressive to say the least. I had no confidence at all to do anything on my own and this affects me to this day.

Amongst the stunts she pulled during my time at home:
- walked me to middle school on my first day- aged 9
- sent bus fare into class one rainy day with my dad - aged 14 (!!)
- sent me to bed every night at 800-830 up until the age of about 13-14, I was the only kid in school who had never watched a whole episode of The Bill!
- told my 6' 4 scary headmaster that he would not under any circumstance keep me after school - aged 13
- told the same head that if he ever even thought of caning me she would do the same to him then have him locked up for assault
- would only let me out of the house after I had asked permission and told her where I was going, who with and what time I would return, up until the age of about 19- I started work at 16 FFS.
- when my pregnant then-girlfriend wanted to stay over whilst they were away, she asked in all seriousness where I would be sleeping as she would obviously be using my bed. Note the word pregnant once more if you will.
- sent me a text message after she and my father split up and we were not on good terms, telling me she was my mother and I *would* do as she says - aged 29. I still recall the exact words nearly 8 years on: "I am your mother and you WILL".

My brother turned out a complete social leper. I've at least managed to move out, get a job, a family, a life- he's 32 and still at home, unemployed, literally no friends whatsoever apart from internet chatrooms, claiming disability allowance on grounds of mental problems.

I have tried to be the opposite with my daughter, she is confident and outgoing, fears nothing and is an absolute delight, I am so proud of her and she is going to have the chances and success I was never given the opportunity or encouragement to have. I'm not trying to lead my life through her, just give her everything I was never given.

The ironic thing is that she divorced my father on grounds of mental cruelty and accused him of stifling her and being a control freak.

No lols so far, so I will finish by saying she has better stubble than me, genuinely has to shave a few times a week and could be a first class circus bearded 'lady' if she didn't.

/bitter and resentful
(, Sat 12 Sep 2009, 0:45, 12 replies)
The stubble thing
Makes it sound like she's got Polycystic ovary syndrome. Which makes women batshit crazy, in my experience/
(, Sat 12 Sep 2009, 2:14, closed)
you get a click
for this line:
"I was the only kid in school who had never watched a whole episode of The Bill!"
(, Sat 12 Sep 2009, 15:04, closed)
I earned that click
for missing out on the last half of each episode which always had the chase, the arrest, and Reg Hollis being a nob. At least I can catch up now on UK Gold or whatever that channel is called this week.

Ironically my daughter now likes The Bill too and sometimes we sit and watch old episodes together!
(, Sat 12 Sep 2009, 18:10, closed)
The 'like' is not malicious. My Mum's a fucking tyrannical cretin as well.
(, Sat 12 Sep 2009, 9:30, closed)
^^Me too!
Click because when I was 21, and 6 months pregnant, my Dad wouldn't let me sleep with my fiance.
My Mum sometimes went a bit "Carrie's Mum" as well..
(, Sat 12 Sep 2009, 10:42, closed)
Do you think they simply wanted to blank out the fact that their precious offspring were now having s-e-x and live in denial?

I know it will be very tough on me when my daughter does the deed but it's something I am dreading. I think it's a "dads and their girls" thing, all dads are protective of their daughters, I am but not in a bad way- I hope!
(, Sat 12 Sep 2009, 18:13, closed)
Sounds like a rough deal but by the sounds of things your daughter is reaping the reward and will be a better person for it. If that is any consolation.

(, Sat 12 Sep 2009, 17:36, closed)
That's all I can hope is that I'm not thought of in the same way by her as I think of my mother. Right now, my girl and I are so close, she's a total smasher, and I do everything I can to make sure she'll continue to be a joy not just to me but to everyone she meets.

Small consolation in 1 way perhaps but if her life turns out better than mine was at time, then maybe not so small
(, Sat 12 Sep 2009, 18:09, closed)
I must be a helicopter Parent.....
Because I still walk my 10 year old daughter to school, and I've just give my 14 year old son a later bedtime - he's allowed to stay up until 8.30 now!

It's for thir own good I tell you!
(, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 19:28, closed)
You are
my mother in disguise AICMFP!
(, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 19:49, closed)
Clicky for having the strength not to carry it on on your own child
My Mother blamed her parents for the way she treated us.

Keep going as you are with your daughter, I am sure that she will continue to make you very proud.
(, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 22:02, closed)
It's hard, because natural parental instinct and possibly my early years make me want to be there for her every moment of the day, but after what I went through and what it did to me, I resist, tough as it is. She's a great kid and I am determined she won't be brought up in the same claustrophobic way I was, no way.
(, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 19:52, closed)

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