Never mind, just put it back!
When I was about 12, my younger brother, about 9, found one of my sanitary pads. He opened it up and then went to my father. This was basically the conversation that followed.
Bro: Hey Dad, what is this?
Dad: Never mind, just put it back.
Bro: But what is it?
Dad: It doesn't matter. Put it back!
Bro: I just wanted to know what it was.
Dad: You don't need to know what it is. Just put it back and never open those up again.

It went on like that for several minutes. I was there, but I was too embarrassed to tell him myself. My brother is 22 now, and I'm still not too sure if he knows what menstruation is or not.
(mariam67, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 21:45, 7 replies)

Yes yes
but what was it?
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 3:02, closed)

My daughter
...who's seven, recently had her first sex ed lesson at school. I don't think it's was too detailed or specific, just a general introduction. Anyway that evening in the bath with her five-year-old brother she was passing on her new-found knowledge:

Her: A boy's bits aren't called 'willy', the proper word is 'penis'.
Him: Benis?
Her: No, penis. Peeeenissss. And I have a bagina.
Him: Bagina?
Her: Yes, bagina.

Somehow I just couldn't bring myself to correct her.

Being the kind of parent I am, I'll take the easier and less embarrassing option of storing it away to tell as an amusing anecdote when she's a teenager and she invites prospective boyfriends around.
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 9:19, closed)

My friend's little sister asked her mum what time she was born at.
Mum replied, 'About 3 o'clock in the morning'.

'Oh', she said, 'Did I wake you?' :-)
(littlemissmischievous, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 16:16, closed)

I try to forget about menstruation.
I make my wife go and stay with her mother one week in four.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 9:22, closed)

Back in a mo.
One of my friends was almost 20 when the girls of the youth club had to explain to him that it took a bit longer than going for a wee, which is what he thought. He had sisters too.
(jvz, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 15:05, closed)

This is the only real area where my mum totally failed as a parent.
Has your offspring asked a question about sex, menstruation, pregnancy or generally any way in which girls are different from boys? Just pretend you didn't hear, or if that's simply not plausible, plead pig ignorance and silently simmer in your rancid Catholic guilt until said offspring goes and asks someone else, which with any luck will happen in about fifteen years' time, thus condemning them to live in celibate ignorance for as long as it takes you to come to terms with the existence of their sexuality.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 16:42, closed)

I know someone who shall remain nameless
who once found the plastic strip off the back of a sanitary towel in the bathroom. It had 'press-on towel' written all along the length of it.

He went to his mother and said "I pressed in on a towel and nothing happened."

To be fair, he was five.

If he gives me a tenner, I will keep his identity a secret....
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:14, closed)