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This is a question Helicopter Parents

Back when young ScaryDuck worked in the Dole office rather than simply queuing in it, he had to deal with a claimant brought in by his mum. She did all the talking. He was 40 years old.

Have you had to deal with over-protective parents? Get your Dad to tell us all about it.

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 15:13)
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Sibling Rivalry
My parents are a funny pair, but not dissimilar from the norm apparently in treating my sister and I completely differently.

She's 2/3 years older than me depending on what month it is, and has ALWAYS gotten her way. That's not just sibling rivalry, she always did. I was often left wanting where she would get her hearts desire. She always got the bigger room in the house's we lived in, she usually got better or more extravagant birthday/christmas presents. She always got exactly what she wanted from our parents, case and point:

My dad being in the services, we moved around a lot when we were growing up. Kids being kids, we invariably got bullied for being the new kids, and once you've been bullied you're pretty much a professional victim for the remainder of your time at school. I dealt with this, there were others that got it worse, so I shouldn't complain. The elder sibling however moaned and bitched and complained until mum and dad moved her to the posh school down the road..... where she got bullied again and ended up barely scraping through her GCSE's before plodding off to -and dropping out of - college.

I, on the other hand, put up with the abuse (verbal and occasionally physical) and managed to pass with some reasonable grades a couple of years later. I attempted A levels, but had recently discovered women and the pub so was on a steam train to fail town.

By now, the elder child has gotten engaged and moved out and is about 10-15k in personal debt with her FianceĀ“, with both parents hovering over her constantly picking up the tab and offering advice which she often refused to take.

About this time, I received the ONLY piece of helicopter like parenting I can recall immediately; sat in the kitchen drinking tea one morning my mum thrusts the job section of the newspaper in front of me, with one finger on an advert for Advanced Modern Apprentices: "you should look into this, I think you'd do well at it, it's more hands on than school and you might enjoy it more. And it pays...". To be honest, I wasn't that interested, but not to look a gift horse in the mouth I agreed to apply. Then came a letter saying I was to attend an aptitude test, then another offering an interview. And following the interview, a third letter offering me a place in the scheme.

Long story short, 8 years on and I'm a 25 year old qualified electrical and electronic engineer earning the national average with a property, a car and a fiancee all to my name (don't tell her I said that), and hopefully soon some little Batmowes's flitting about. The sibling; estranged husband, 2 young kids, housing association house in a dodgy little village, owing money to most of the family. And still has our (divorced) parents hovering over her constantly trying to remedy things for her.

Hand on heart, I think I got the better deal.
(, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 19:20, 4 replies)
Well done you.
Still doesn't excuse the fact that "gotten" isn't a word.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 1:14, closed)
Top hit on google:

Here's what David Crystal says about The gotten/got distinction in
The Cambridge Encyclopedia of the English Language (p.311):

"Gotten is probably the most distinctive of all the AmE/BrE grammatical
differences, but British people who try to use it often get it wrong.
It is not simply an alternative for have got. Gotten is used in such
contexts as
They've gotten a new boat. (= obtain)
They've gotten interested. (= become)
He's gotten off the chair. (= moved)
But it is not used in the sense of possession (= have). AmE does not
*I've gotten the answer.
or *I've gotten plenty.
but uses I've got as in informal BrE. The availability of gotten
does however mean that AmE can make such distinctions as the following:
They've got to leave (they must leave) vs
They've gotten to leave (they've managed to leave)."

Up for debate?
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 6:48, closed)
It was good enough for Shakespeare.
Ill-gotten gains, anyone? I have a surplus.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 10:27, closed)
Are you an MP?

(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:56, closed)

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