b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » I'm going to Hell... » Post 325612 | Search
This is a question I'm going to Hell...

...because I said the Lord's Prayer backwards at a funeral to summon up the Goat of Mendes, Freddie Woo tells us. Tell us why you're doomed.

Thanks to Kaol for the suggestion

(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:09)
Pages: Latest, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, ... 1

« Go Back

I stole a fossilized skull from a church when I was young and nihilistic.

It was very small, probably a child's, and there were two of them next to each other just behind the altar. I only lifted one. Nothing dramatically Indiana Jones-esque happened.

For a while I burned candles on it, and it looked suitably Gothic when covered in dribbly wax.

Then I used it as a bookend for years.

Occasionally I wondered if my miserable and tortured existence was the result of some curse I had brought upon myself.

Then I forgot about it.

Until I had a fit of conscience a few years ago and returned it to the church with a note explaining my regret, and my phone number should the vicar wish to pardon me in person.

Thankfully he did, and I found I had made an old man very happy before he retired.

Presumably my ticket to Hull has been cancelled.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:36, 13 replies)
My dad-in-law and his brother
Stole a skull from the crypt of a disused church when they were boys.

Their mum made them get rid of it, so they buried it in the garden. Not long after that, they moved a few streets away, and forgot the whole episode. Forgot, right up to the moment the new owners decided to do a bit of gardening...
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:38, closed)
I recognise
that tale...
*cringe* ?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:46, closed)
I've already QOTWed it
And am going to HELL for the repost
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:53, closed)
I thought as much
And you deserve it you know.
You all do.
But especially you.
Now tell more tales.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:55, closed)
did you tell him
what you did with it?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:46, closed)
He left a message on my answerphone which I didn't respond to as my head was up my arse owing to the ending of my 13 year relationship and a nervous breakdown and stuff.

And after a while I'd left it so long I was too embarrassed.

In retrospect I wish I had called him back, he'd have probably helped me forgive myself for the things my ex was blaming me for which led to the nervous breakdown. The message he left made me cry - he said whatever I'd done in the past I'd made up for it now and that we all make mistakes...

/emo, fluffeh etc
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:54, closed)
I actually wish...
...that I hadn't read ^that reply, because on its own, the end of the story is really sweet.

I am clicking the original post though, (my own religious attitudes aside).
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 16:43, closed)
Aw sorry
In the message said he'd put the little skulls out on display and was very upset and disappointed to find one of them missing shortly afterwards... he never dreamed it would return, and I could almost hear his voice cracking with emotion when he expressed his joy at finding it again, 14 years later.
Especially as he was indeed about to retire, and could do so happy in the knowledge that the human race is not all bad and doomed.

I got proper choked up.

Thanks for the click.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:09, closed)
If you managed to overcome your guilt and confess, you might just be able to overcome your embarrassment and reply.

Anyway, nice story. Have a click!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:51, closed)
That's actually really nice.
We all do stupid shit when we're kids. You grew up and made up.

Siress, I salute you.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:49, closed)
and thanks :)
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:28, closed)
@ Fuzzy
Yeah, that was actually a really sweet thing to do in the end. *click*
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:59, closed)
what the FUCK
was a vicar doing with a skull on the altar???? I've been a devoted (but still an asshole) Episcopalian (C of E to you guys) for years, head of Altar Guild and all that shit and I have never read about how to polish up the children's skulls left on the altar.

Is there something I don't know about?
(, Sat 13 Dec 2008, 22:49, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Latest, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, ... 1