This could get me there
A few years back when I worked in a popular video rental store, me and the other lads there got to know a few of the regulars pretty well. We once made a list of every regular customer's nicknames that we'd given them too. There were some gooduns on there. Here's a few examples of why the lot of us in that shop are on our way to hell.

Mr Lafferty (Laffo): An elderly deaf man who rented shitty action films and soft core pornos. He was 100% deaf. We'd sneak up behind him and fart, then run away leaving him to wonder what that god awful smell was. We'd be across the other side of the shop by then. We'd also cover our mouths and see how much we could give him shit before laughing. And most of the time we'd film it on our phones. We'd also announce on the tanoy when he was in that there was some awesome new blueys in if he wanted them.

Blong: A child who was black and a mong.

Mr 'I Like Kids' - whenever he'd come into the shop he'd greet us with 'alright kid'. He mumbled and so we turned this into 'I like kids'. We once made a banner out old school printer paper with the words 'He Likes Kids' and an arrow pointing to him. My mate stood next to him with it for about 5 minutes and how he didn't notice is beyond me.

There was a fella who would come in who was wheelchair bound. He brought some films back late and was rightly fined. Que his brother coming down kicking off that his disabled brother had been fined. We explained that films brought back after we closed incurred a fine. He then went on to say that our sign with the opening times on the door was too high for somebody in a wheelchair to see. So I went outside and sat on the floor to show him how a person's neck can bend in a way that allows them to look upwards. In front of his brother in the wheelchair. And the boss. And all the other customers.

There's more nicknames (we had an A4 sheet full of them), but it was years ago so I can't remember them all.
(Visionaryofthe1980s www.myspace.com/visionariesofthe1980s, Sat 13 Dec 2008, 4:18, 7 replies)

"Blong"
I will never again be able to see an African-American child suffering from Downs Syndrome without laughing my fool head off. This could be a real handicap in my profession, you know.



falls on floor giggling at "Blong"
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sat 13 Dec 2008, 4:25, closed)

You're now going to hell too
Glad I could help
(Visionaryofthe1980s www.myspace.com/visionariesofthe1980s, Sat 13 Dec 2008, 5:51, closed)

Oh noes!
Damme you, sirrah!

shakes fist
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sat 13 Dec 2008, 19:23, closed)

Our name for Blongs
Was Splib - just as bad, but I laughed hard at the new word in my vocabulary. Hell, heh.
(The Lunatic Artist throws paint to the wind, Sat 13 Dec 2008, 13:28, closed)

Splib?
Spacker and?
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Sat 13 Dec 2008, 15:34, closed)

i often use
a complete 'spong'

which is my term for a cross been a spakka and a mong
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 14 Dec 2008, 17:30, closed)

So I went outside and sat on the floor to show him how a person's neck can bend in a way that allows them to look upwards
F*cking class. Can't. Breathe.
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 23:44, closed)