Charity Shops, 'the good christian, and tea pissing..
When I was eighteen, young, naive and fucking stupid, me, along with three other friends ended up in a bit of a street brawl with some local pikey’s. The police came, read us the riot act, and slammed us into the back of the old pig wagon. The whole thing was caught on CCTV and the long and short of it is, we ended up going to magistrates 3 times, before being adjourned to crown court.

Anyway, we ended up getting a hefty fine and 150 hours community service. I was quite pleased with that as the whole process lead me to believe we would all be doing porridge, systematically getting arse raped by ‘the daddy’

The probation officer could see that me and my one friend in particular friend had decent jobs and we were really sorry for what we had done so she put us on a nice placement. By nice, I mean 25 shifts in a charity shop ironing various bits of unwanted clothing ready to sell in the shop. In fairness, we had a right laugh in there. Me and my friend would get there at 8am on a Saturday, try on all the hats and dresses and play all the wank vinyls that came through. After the shift we would go to the boozer down the road that sold woodpecker for £1 a pint. We’d just get twisted in there and go home to bed and wake up sleeping with a KFC.

Generally it was brill. But, the ‘Good Christian woman’, who worked there for free made our lives hell. She was the single most, horrible, nasty, corruptive bitch I have ever met, and I’ve met some pretty fucking horrible people. She would look down at us as if we were shit on her shoe. Essentially we were criminals, but we were polite, and helpful to her. She was fucking horrible, and I wouldn’t mind but her son, who had about two teeth in his ugly fucking head was a complete waste of a wank. No job, lounging around on the ‘criminal’ tax money. He was like an advert for Farmfoods. He was a cunt.

Over the course of the six months, the pair of these ‘good christians’ repulsed me to the point of nearly punching the fuck out of her son. On the last day, her parting comment was ‘make me a cup of tea before you go threatening society again.’ I made her a fucking tea alright. I pissed right through that tea I made. My mate was so pissed off by this comment he did a shit in a towel and the smeared a discreet amount all over the sons car handles.

I must admit, i felt a bit bad for doing this to a ‘good christian’ until about a week later when the lovely probation officer called me to wish me well in life. She said, did the woman in the charity shop let you off with the ten hours like I told her, as you were behaved. I was fucking sieving, i nearly went back just to make her another cup, the silly old cunt.

In fact, I reckon that bitch will be in hell before me. I don’t mind the sound of hell though, the women are much dirtier and the weathers much warmer.
(Sir_Digby_Chicken_Caeser [email protected], Sat 13 Dec 2008, 13:49, 2 replies)

its more likley you were
'seething' as opposed to sieving

unless of course you were getting the lumps out of her 'special' coffee
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 13 Dec 2008, 20:01, closed)

Beat me to it Spimf
What a shame to spoil an otherwise charming tale with a horrendous mis-spelling!
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 14:05, closed)